I get it all the time
I ran into the grocery store today for three teensy items. As I was rounding the corner of the produce section, headed for checkout, a man who couldn’t entirely speak English was grinning at me.
He uttered something I couldn’t make out, so I turned.
“You look like Amazon!” he said. And continued to grin. As if he were seriously expecting a response.
Whenever I’m hit with a comment like this I don’t know what to do.
I just shrugged and said, “Nope.” As in, No, I am not, in actuality, a product of the Amazon Basin. I am just a corn-fed American girl.
I so wanted to come back with, “You look like Shit Eater.”
But I continued on my way.
All the while he maintained his stupid grin, like my long, long body was the most hilarious thing he could ever hope to witness.
Glad I could make his day.
You should have said it. I remember (vividly) when a first grader once told me I would be pretty if my chin didn't make me look so much like a witch. I'd much rather have a long, long body!
Posted by: nutmeg | May 07, 2008 at 05:21 PM
You'd be surprised how many more men out there love your long body. The stupid few in the mix are just genetic and unfortunate mistakes.
Posted by: AndreAnna | May 07, 2008 at 05:51 PM
If it makes you feel better: I once walked into a coffee shop with a good friend of mine, and the tall, lanky, weird guy who hung out in various State Street establishments looked up as we walked in, and said without missing a beat, "Oh, look. Two monsters." We were speechless too. Good comebacks never come on time, do they? The moral of the story: don't let the weirdos get you down.
Posted by: MommyTime | May 07, 2008 at 06:57 PM
In high school my friend Meredith died her hair green. We were hanging out at Denny's (classy, no?) and a big beefy rednecked man walked up and lisped through his toothless mouth, "What are ye, an alien?"
Funny thing was, she was an alien. Legal, from New Zealand.
Posted by: franticallysimple | May 07, 2008 at 07:59 PM
Don't you know that's what the canned goods are for? Throw those suckers at jerks like him!
Posted by: Jenni | May 07, 2008 at 08:33 PM
The one I always loved was, "Do you play basketball?" People are dumb.
Posted by: mommypie | May 08, 2008 at 12:09 AM
I think you should have said what you were thinking! He probably wouldn't have understood it anyway!
Posted by: Madame Queen | May 08, 2008 at 05:34 AM
I can only wish I had a long, long body!
Posted by: Kristy | May 08, 2008 at 05:48 AM
My body is not long. Right now it's nearly 8 months pregnant wide and some lady in the grocery store yesterday said to me "You look HUGE, when are you due" and she said it with this huge smile. I flipped her off. I felt a little guilty on my walk home that it gave me so much pleasure to do that....but then I realized she probably went and told all her friends about the most AWFUL pregnant women she saw that day that flipped her off to her face and had a good time complaining about it so I figure we're even.
Posted by: Cass | May 08, 2008 at 06:25 AM
I get the basketball thing, too. My three sisters and I are all taller than 5'8". People just don't know how to react when we're together.
Posted by: JP | May 08, 2008 at 06:59 AM
What on Earth? I could think of a few more names to call him.
Posted by: kendra | May 08, 2008 at 08:14 AM
I'm just under 5'9" and I have people SWEAR I'm 5'10" or 11"; whatever size they pick. Not that it matters; I like being tall and I wear 4" heels sometimes! Anyway, a couple of months ago I ran in to Wendy's for a salad at lunch, and the line was long. This old guy just in front of me turned around, and in his OUTSIDE voice said, "Well, aren't YOU a tall drink of water!" Then he proceeded to get the approval and assessment of several other men in line. Oh well, I inspire insanity in almost everybody.
Keep being the tall drink of water, Miss Adither -- it's enviable.
Posted by: foolery | May 08, 2008 at 03:27 PM
The long body. Something so many who don't have it...want.
But, you never want the comments unasked for.
Posted by: JCK | May 08, 2008 at 06:19 PM
I can't count the times strangers have decided they need to be the one person to tell me, because of course I am fully unaware, that I have big breasts. "Why, thank you very much, asshole".
Also, when I go places with my family or Jay's family, we are a tall bunch, and people like to stare. Cuz we are pretty on top of that. Just like you!!! :)
Posted by: Leslie | May 09, 2008 at 10:39 AM
ROFL - damn I wish you said it out loud. I never get comments about my height - or lack of - I'm your opposite at 5'2". But the hubz is 6'5" (my ta-tas go up to his waist!) and HE gets those comments all the time.
Me? People think my kids are my brothers. Hmph.
Posted by: Dette | May 12, 2008 at 11:19 PM