Do not overpack. You will have to lug your suitcases full of sand toys, swimsuits and sunscreen to one agriculture inspection, one ticketing agent and then, finally, to baggage check. All while your three-year-old insists on being carried.
Do not assume your three-year-old will cooperate in any way, shape or form. Do not expect her to grasp the importance of proceeding cooperatively through Security.
Do not forget to empty your children’s Sigg water bottles before said Security. If you do forget and then plead with the TSA agent to let you dump the water, remember to bring your boarding pass and ID with you as you voluntarily surrender your position. Shoes would be good too. If you forget all those things, do not start crying while refiling yourself in the Security line barefoot and holding only those two, small water bottles. Tears will not soften the TSA agents.
When you stumble upon your second agriculture check, do not attempt to bring grape tomatoes on board the flight (reasoning that they are the only vegetable your five-year-old will eat). The tomatoes will be confiscated.
When you stumble upon your second agriculture check, do not attempt to bring carrots on board the flight (reasoning that they are the only vegetable your three-year-old will eat). The carrots may be confiscated.
Do not bother looking for signs to double check your gate. The power may very well be off, leaving the monitors black, and probably no one has thought to actually mark each individual gate.
Do not fry your body 3–4 days before decamping the islands. You will trail dead skin flakes throughout the entire airport.
Do not bicker with your husband. It makes everything worse.
Thanks for the tips. I'll try to remember all that, especially the bickering thing.
Posted by: Burgh Baby's Mom | May 04, 2008 at 11:38 AM
Boy, it sounds like you were retelling my recent trip to the Maui airport! I feel for ya!
Posted by: Jennie | May 04, 2008 at 02:05 PM
Oh, yes, I remember the airport shuffle with our then-18-month old. Fortunately we had only one child then because what with the hiking backpack, carseat, stroller, luggage filled with toys and life preservers, and carry on that contained everything except the kitchen sink, I don't know HOW we would have managed with a second child too. You are heroic.
We are seriously contemplating a Hawaii trip for August with out two (who are two and four right now) -- I may have to email you for advice! :)
Posted by: MommyTime | May 04, 2008 at 04:00 PM
Airport security is hard enough on your own. And quite a spectacle with children. I've been there and feel your pain.
Posted by: Tootsie Farklepants | May 04, 2008 at 05:53 PM
Airport security is hard enough on your own. And quite a spectacle with children. I've been there and feel your pain.
Posted by: Tootsie Farklepants | May 04, 2008 at 05:53 PM
Oh boy! What a way to end your time in paradise, huh?
And I'll make a note of that bickering with your husband thing. :)
Posted by: Stacy | May 04, 2008 at 07:34 PM
Those TSA agents are brutal. Hope you got to have a drink soon after. Or maybe several!
Posted by: JCK | May 04, 2008 at 10:35 PM
This is why I don't like to travel - well, that and my irrational fear of flying.
And, quite frankly, I don't know if I would be able to NOT bicker with my husband. I think that, for me, would be easier said than done.
Posted by: mamatulip | May 05, 2008 at 07:56 AM
Is there a fresher hell than making it through current airport security with very small children? If there is, I'm pretty sure it involves chlamydia. And possibly Carrot Top.
Posted by: Melanie at Beanpaste | May 05, 2008 at 09:17 AM
You've given me reason never to vacation beyond the Jersey shore again!
Posted by: meg | May 05, 2008 at 09:24 AM
You've given me reason never to vacation beyond the Jersey Shore again!
Posted by: meg | May 05, 2008 at 09:25 AM
Oops.
Posted by: meg | May 05, 2008 at 09:25 AM
I think I have done at least four of these! The Ag checks make me crazy especially when you are running very late! And the kids cannot be rushed...
Posted by: noble pig | May 05, 2008 at 11:58 AM
THAT RIGHT THERE is why we drive everywhere. That and the expense. And both of those explain why Maui isn't on our radar any time soon. Glad you had an otherwise great trip!
Posted by: foolery | May 05, 2008 at 12:45 PM
Was that on the way there or on the way back? I hope not on the way back b/c that would totally ruin your Maui high.
Posted by: Madame Queen | May 05, 2008 at 06:11 PM
My almost 4 year old twins have still not been on an airplane for these very reasons and my anxiety just thinking about them! Luckily, we have discovered that roadtrips are underrated and they love the car.
Posted by: T | May 05, 2008 at 10:41 PM
I think you heard my similar story from LAX. Traveling stinks with kids. Being somewhere is great, getting there sucks. Glad you survived!
Posted by: Leslie | May 05, 2008 at 11:06 PM