Do they make water wings for twenty-two-year-olds?

I don't know what it is about my kids and swimming lessons, but they refuse to partake.

Last year I signed Fruit Bat up for a Very Beginner's class at a private, clubby-type place, where we don't belong but were allowed to take lessons provided we paid a semi-reasonable fee.

All the lessons were taught by high school girls with bionic mammary glands and pimply boys wearing big ass sunglasses. Yeah, all the better to hide their leers, I suppose.

Anyway, Fruit Bat didn't know for breasts, all he knew was the pool was full of other kids and teachers he hadn't met and that, on first glance, it looked like a gaping blue hole teeming with squirmy, splashy arms and legs. He wasn't going to dip even one toe into the water.

Still, we dutifully trudged to the pool every day for two weeks. I was convinced that by the sheer force of my consistency and motivation that he would give in and immerse himself. But...nothin'.

If anything, it got worse as the end of the second week approached. He wouldn't even deign to come near the pool, much less get in. I tried every tack I could think of: gentle encouragement, bribery, lecturing that his father and I had paid hard-earned cash for those lessons and he was going to at least try, darn it. Still...nothin'.

Enter Summer '08, wherein J. and I decided we wouldn't even give him the option of lessons. We'd wait and let him realize that all his friends were learning to swim and leaving him in the proverbial shallow end and see if he didn't beg. 

We would, we decided, sign up his sister! It was time for Kitty Cat to start getting used to the water anyway and, with her gregarious personality and relatively adventurous outlook, she'd take to it like a (sea)star.

On Monday I took Kitty Cat to her first lesson. I was a little dismayed to find that her teachers were both boys. Delightful, patient boys, I was sure, but Kitty Cat likes her some girls. She likes girl's high voices and their clothes and makeup and, who knows, she may already be envious of their mammary action (Though I hope not, because 1. She's too young for that crap and 2. If she takes after me she'll be sorely disappointed if she puts too much hope in the lure of her rack--or lack thereof)

I kept my consternation to myself, however, and approached the first lesson with a sunny, optimistic attitude.

Kitty Cat and I plunked ourselves down at the edge of the pool. She inched her way in and, when the time came, humored the boy-teachers by letting them usher her away on little excursions toward the deeper end. She kicked and made a rocket ship of her hands when she was asked and did almost all of it with a big, ol' grin on her face.

And then something happened.

Toward the end of that first lesson, she returned from one of her small, escorted swims, her face as crumpled as a wadded Kleenex. I rushed to the edge of the pool like the MEDEVAC parent that I am and asked if she was okay. 

The weeping then began in earnest. There is something about a shivering, crying child (especially mine) that brings out the maternal in me. I let her get out of the pool, wrapped her in a towel and held her for a while, trying to convince her to share what had gone wrong.

She could only say that she "didn't really like the teachers".

Now, I didn't see every second of the lesson, but I can tell you with 99.99 percent certainty that nothing untoward happened. The boy-teachers seemed really sweet and good with kids and were totally surrounded by ogling parents.

But something spooked Kitty Cat and I can't figure out what. All week we've been going to the pool as planned but she will only sit on a chair under the low dark, Seattle clouds.

And to placate her, and find out if she'll participate at all before throwing our money away signing her up for another session, I've switched her to a class with a girl teacher for these last two days.

Update: Girl teacher did not sufficiently impress Kitty Cat this morning with her, er, girliness... Another day of Nothin'.

Comments

[Jen-The Mom]

Hmmm...
did she..
-have to go potty?
-ingest some water (up her nose or othewise)?
-eyes burn? (probably wearing goggles)

Poor thing..she's not mentioning anything about it either?

[Carrie]

This is one of those times when you have to just listen to her. And wait. She'll come around when she's ready.

My 5-year-old niece had ONE bad time after almost a year of swimming when she was 3, and still won't put more than a big toe in.

[Jeff]

aw, I remember and understand... really jerks at a parent's heartstrings. I echo the comments above that she will grow into it. Mine went kicking, screaming and crying, and now, I can't keep em out of the water and they both swim like crazy fishes...

If you can just keep it casual but keep them going in, it will get alot better...

Wishing you the best...
J/

[San Diego Momma]

I'm just taking my four-year-old to private lessons...and it's going OK...but she *thinks* she's swimming, when all she's doing is flailing around and drinking gallons of pool water, so I need to keep a close eye on her at all times.

Plus: she's an aquarius! Isn't that the sign of water? (Note: not up on astrology)

[Andrea's Sweet Life]

My 4 year old was terrified of the pool for a long time, so we just kept a kiddie pool around. Now, we can't keep her OUT of the big pool. I think it's a comfort thing, and give them both time!

Come on over to my place and enter to win some FREE CHOCOLATE!

http://blog.sweetlifesite.com

[Leslie]

I myself am practically a fish- swim team all through high school, worked as a lifeguard and swim teacher all through college, and I'm still dreading swim lessons for my almost 4-year-old. I guess am afraid he'll hate them and then I'll be totally bummed out and left watching our money go up in smoke as well. Plus - our sucky town only has health cluby pools and you have to pay out the nose if you "don't belong" Sorry to hear that something spooked Kitty Cat - hopefully she'll rebound soon and decide that lessons are fun again. Good luck!

[mamatulip]

My daughter is terrified of water. All we can attribute it to is a fall she took when she was about a year and a half old. She was in the tub and she cut her tongue when she fell, and it bled like crazy. She was pretty upset when it happened...that's the only thing we can really recall that would have spooked her like that.

She's 5 now and she's only comfortable when I give her a bath, and she won't go in the water at all - pool or otherwise - unless she is clinging to one of us for dear life.

[Tricia]

We've had similar experiences with our four-year-old son. He will now play in the shallow end, and this year he's participating in some of what the swim instructor is doing, but it's still hit or miss. I'm also hoping peer pressure will win him over.

[V]

I posted about swimming today too. My girls are good swimmers, not sure how or why, but I'm hoping it's my ticket to the mommy hall of fame?!?!

[Chris]

I'm 3 kids into this whole swimming thing (in Seattle too) and have no clue. If you figure out what spooked Kitty Cat, please let me know.

[Tootsie Farklepants]

Poor Kitty Cat. And it's so frustrating, as a parent, when they can't or won't properly articulate what the problem is.

[M]

I think I DID see some adult water wings online the other day!! haha! As frustrating as it is, I guess all you can do is offer Kitty Cat and Fruit Bat these experiences. Then, it's up to them what they do. You're off the hook!

[Foolery]

My 7-year-old is finally coming around. She and the 5-year-old start their first real swim lessons next month at the public pool. At least they love the water now, but the fear is WAY bigger than the fun. Forcing it only makes it worse, unfortunately. Like potty training, when they're ready, they're ready.

[Meredith]

Is Kitty Cat really sensitive to what people say to her? I was that way when I was little (umm but not anymore..) and one innocent comment from a teacher could leave me in tears and dreading any activity in the future. Maybe they said something critical or she felt embarrassed by.

[NinjaMama]

I can't even begin to tell you how much better reading this post made me feel. My four year old is completely resistant to swim lessons, yet he informed me, "I already know how to swim." Apparently, he has tested his strokes on dry land, and since he didn't drown - well, there you go. Sigh. I have not been patient or understanding, I have been frustrated and exasperated, but I am trying to encourage and also let it go. Anyways, thanks for your post. Solidarity for suffering moms!