The post where I get all pissed off on Food Allergy's ass

When we first had Fruit Bat tested for food allergies, he was five months old. He had eczema from head to toe and I was desperate to figure out the cause.

He tested positive for dairy, egg, tree nuts and peanuts. My initial reaction was relief. I could cut those foods from my diet (I was still nursing him exclusively) and maybe his skin that was red, angry sandpaper would soften, would stop itching.

And the full body rash did ease quite a bit.

Still, I didn't fully understand food allergies. I thought I could have a piece of peanut butter pie here, a milkshake there and it wouldn't be any big deal.

When we had him retested at age one, his wheals (which are the hives the allergists measure to get an idea of how allergic someone might be to a particular substance) were huge.

Still, I didn't get it. 

I'd occasionally give him cheese and ply him with baked goods containing egg and dairy. It wasn't until hives started popping out on his arms and legs that I realized how these foods were taxing his immune system.

At three he was tested again. This time the allergist chose to do a blood draw and have the lab perform a CAP RAST  so we could get actual numbers rather than just measuring wheals. 

His numbers for nuts, egg and dairy were high. So high. I wept. I gnashed. I was jittery. I had to take a Xanax that day.

Last year, his numbers for egg and dairy started to abate a bit. And I made the mistake of hoping. Hoping that he'd someday be able to eat real pizza, Ben and Jerry's, omelets, frozen custard. Hoping that we wouldn't have to bring our own cupcake to birthday parties and that he wouldn't have to feel left out when other kids got treats he couldn't have.

I've always known that the Peanuts are probably a lifelong allergy. His peanut numbers are astronomical and, honestly, it is peanuts that I fear will someday put him in the ER (Hopefully not worse. Oh, please, hopefully not worse.).

But the eggs and dairy. They've never been the thugs to me that Peanuts are. They're the delinquents that swagger several paces back from the thug. They sneer and threaten, but, as long as we don't make eye contact, they will never actually jump us.

This morning, though, I was informed that Fruit Bat's numbers for eggs tripled and for dairy doubled. This is after years of reading labels, avoiding restaurants, bakeries and ice cream shops, of never giving him anything homemade by someone I didn't really, really trust. After years of believing that if we strictly avoided eggs and dairy he had a great chance of outgrowing his allergies to them.

So, with no exposure, why would his numbers have gone up?

I'm frustrated. I'm so fucking frustrated. And I'm scared. I'm sending Fruit Bat off to public, all day Kindergarten in a month. The school is close to our house. He'll be with grown ups who care about him, but who probably understand food allergies about as well as I did when I was feeding him nibbles of Cheddar and spoonfuls of yogurt.

The delinquent eggs and dairy are getting feistier, their glares more menacing.

Usually I'm able to accept our reality of little to no eating out, of teaching Fruit Bat what peanuts look like and to stay far, far away from the bastards, of a certain amount of deprivation.

I'm able to celebrate when I find a new soy ice cream treat he can indulge in and dance a little jig when a friend bakes safe cookies for him to enjoy with his friends.

But today. Today I'm a little bummed. I don't feel like I need a Xanax this year. I've been around this track quite a few times.

I just want my boy to be able to enjoy life. To not have to fear something as pervasive as FOOD, for God's sake. I want him to be able to eat cake. 

Any damn cake he wants.

Comments

[Tootsie Farklepants]

I don't have anything productive to add but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I have a couple of friends whose children are allergic to peanuts and tree nuts and another friend who deals with soy allergies. Watching them have to deal with the simplest things that we (non-allergic) take for granted is exhausting. And yet it's all second nature to them now.

Luckily for Fruit Bat schools have really gotten on the ball in cooperating with the needs of children with allergies. At least he's going now and not ten years ago.

[Vanessa McGrady]

Acupuncture and Chinese medicine? They've been at it a looooooot longer than Western docs. A thought ...

Anyway. I'm sorry, honey. Sucks, sucks, sucks. Maybe you do grow out of these things, when he becomes more man than boy, when he becomes strong enough to lift his ma, when he just does. Love, V.

[Stephanie]

Thanks for commenting on my blog re: the log stump wedding seats! They were lovely, aside from a few people with sappy butts!

The allergies downright suck. Sorry. I only deal with seasonal allergies around here, and can't imagine what every living day is like for your little man.

By the way....the Hudson jeans were smoking hot! And The Gap trouser pair was actually cute too :)

[Madame Queen]

I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine how frustrating that must be. But I bet his teachers are pretty well versed in allergies in this day and age and as long as you've made clear to them how sensitive he is to these foods, then I'm sure they'll take care of him.

[Musing]

Peanut allergies are so scary. I hate you guys have to go through this.

[a-licious]

oh wow mama....i can only imagine and that just plain SUCKS!
the lady who takes care of my son (inhome daycare) her son has those same allergies too....and i see how frustrating it is....sigh...

sorry i have been away a while - hectic times..but i am back and plan on doing better and keeping up with all my blog-a-licious blogger peeps...

hang in there and here is a big (((((((squooooshy)))))) hug!

a-licious
in da hizzzzzouse

[Lyssa Ireland Thomas]

Angie, I'm so sorry to hear about this development. B-Dogg's allergic to penicillan (which I am not comparing in any way to Fruit Bat's allergy), but I remember the doctor kept trying him on penicillan to see if he'd outgrow the allergy. The last round made the poor kid swell up like Rocky after one of his matches. At that point, the doctor said no more. It just gives us one more worry in parenthood. Bless your little soldier!

[Pocklock]

I have some pretty wicked food allergies too and I'm 36 weeks pregnant with my first. While I can have peanuts, I fear the first day my daughter gets near peanut butter (or when I eat it and nurse her). I was just thinking about it yesterday and wondered if I should go park in the ER parking lot before handing her a PB&J sandwich for the first time. Just in case.

Food allergies suck. I'm so sorry for you and Fruit Bat.

[Heidi]

Poor fruit bat. Emily and Lisa are right. Schools are much more aware of food allergies now. Probably just to save their own butts but if it helps...There must be a presentation done at our school in a classroom with a kid with allergies. When we have any type of food served, the other kids are concerned about what's in the food. "Billy can't have those cookies if they have peanuts 'cuz he's allergic".
The allergies will teach fruit bat to be a much healthy eater. He's going to learn to ask what's in food when he's a little older and you're not around.
Take care.

[Susan]

I am sorry Fruit Bat's new numbers are going in the wrong direction. Sending our kids to Kindergarten is stressful enough; I'm sorry you have this added worry.

[good&crazy]

Yuck. And Yuck.

Have you been to all the weird places?

Chiropractors, and Homeopaths?

I don't think they will help much in your extreme case, but I do think people have found a little help? At this point I'd be willing to try them?

[Erin]

geez louise, starting kindergarten is frightening enough, isn't it? Hope can be such a little bitch sometimes.
My oldest is starting the Big-K this year too, and we have his aspergers to worry about. I swear to G-d, if some teachers aid yells at him for smiling at an inappropriate time, they are going to get it. Just plain get it.

[amanda]

Damn, it's hard enough just protecting them from run of the mill dangers, but this? Danger in the run of the mill? I'd forgive yourself your frustration, it's valid.

[Trainwreck]

Well no wonder you have a whole other site of recipies! I can't even imagine what you and your "little Fruit Bat" must go through on a daily basis! I just heard some tanning products(I think mostly used for tanning beds)have peanut oil in them! A woman used a product tanned then went home, had an allergic reaction! She called the salon and warned them to post a note! Who would think? I have heard if you eat local honey it helps with allergies? Maybe not food allergies though...I hope that your little fella can eat whatever he want one day soon as well!

[Melanie @ Mel, A Dramatic Mommy]

I can't imagine what this must be like. Sorry this is so hard for you both!

[jackie @agsoccermom]

My son also has food allergies. If he eats anything yellow, or orange or green. He becomes the energizer bunny. Milk he becomes mean. Thou he can eat cheese. Bht, nitrites and such also make him hyper. And recently we learned tomato's give him a drug like state, like say alcohol and the kid loves salsa. We give him enzymes with every meal, they seem to be working. They take the edge off. But I am with you, it sucks. Teachers are good, there are alot of kids with allegies. Meet with the cafeteria staff and make sure they know the allegies as well. Oh and have medical alert a bracelet made for him until he knows what he can have and can't.

[MommyTime]

I have no helpful advice to offer, but I do send so much sympathy. I know how bad allergies can be, and I do think that people who've said that the schools are much more careful now are right. Our preschool doesn't allow any nuts at all in the door, and birthday treats have to be store-bought so that they can read the list of ingredients. I don't know if elementary schools go to these lengths, but I do know that they are pretty conscientious now that incidents of food allergies have gone up so much. I send much support. I know you will get through this. All the best to FruitBat too. He must be one strong kid to deal with this too!

[JCK]

Angie, I know this must be incredibly frustrating. And scary, especially with him going off to Kindergarten.

My niece is deathly allergic to peanuts and has an epi wherever she goes. My sister has been impressed with the teachers and their acknowledging the seriousness of the allergy.

I can only imagine.Sending good thoughts your way.

[Janine]

Hooboy, I know how you feel. My second child, Hannah, suffers from a peanut allergy. She was also, until 2 years ago, allergic to milk and eggs.
Hannah's now at Reception Grade (Kindgergarten). When she started there, I wrote a letter explaining her allergy and what teachers should do in an emergency. I gave a copy to her teacher, the school secretary, and her after-school care teachers. I felt it was a defense of sorts.
I still regularly check up on them to see whether there is peanut butter being served on tea-time sandwiches. I also ensure that every time there's a fete or bake-sale, the teacher knows to escort her to make sure she doesn't get anything with nuts in it.
It's not easy. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

[Mark Salinas]

My 8 year old son has severe food allergies and has been a challenge to say the least. He watches other kids eat candy or anything thing they like, he can't :(. Prior to opening day at school we meet with the teachers and nurse involved, make certain they have the epiPen, contact information and a thorough understanding of what and how to do. The hardest part is at lunch....my little guy sits at the peanut free table and it breaks my heart to watch him sit by his self. My wife and I visit as often as we can so he has company and doesn't feel all alone. Nice post...I understand :)

[Cheri @ Blog This Mom!]

Totally sucks. I'm sending you ((HUGS)).

[mama o'm.]

Our allergist tells us that there's two things that will pop up a kid's RAST levels. First, repeated exposure. (Yes, I know, the mommy guilt is horrific here. Been there, hon. Hated that.)

Second, there's a NORMAL rise in IgE levels between the age of 2-6. Let me just say that one again: NORMAL RISE. So, wait it out, Angie, and see where you are in a year. You might just be surprised.

Although I must say that I'd be throwing darts at any allergist who sent me away without explaining the 'no allergen, nohow' rule after diagnosing my kid. That seems a little, oh, malpracticeish to me.

But I'm just cranky about doctors tonight, so that could be me.

[carey]

I am sorry to hear this is happening. I have no personal experience with food allergies, but I am a teacher. I am not surprised you are fearful, I would be! But I can say that my school/district is very allergy aware. We have full time RNs in all schools and all teachers are given information about student allergies. Birthday treats that are homemade are not allowed, we have allergy aware lunch tables, and teachers post signs on their doors. I hope FruitBat's school takes his needs as seriously as you do.

[Jenni]

Ughhh. I have a lot of food allergies myself, and it can be a pain. Somehow, neither of my boys got them...I was sure they would.

I am a teacher and we take kids with allergies pretty seriously. Just make sure the school is aware of your concerns and his needs.

[TF]

Dang, I'm sorry, Angie. Your post brought me to tears. I feel so frustrated for you, too!