Where's my damn Village?

I was invited, kind of last minute, to a holiday party this weekend. It was for the staff of a parenting magazine here in Seattle. I'm not exactly "staff" but I have been blogging for this particular publication for almost a year now. And my first print story with them just came out in December.

So I didn't feel completely ridiculous accepting the invitation.

When I go to parties, I like to bring a little trinket or sweet treat to the host (and considering my limited popularity, that brings my budget for such gifts up to about 10 bucks a year. Even in this economy I think I can keep it up). On my way out the door Saturday, I grabbed a box of Trader Joes dark chocolate salted caramels, thinking that maybe, when I got there, they could be added to the spread.

So I arrived, all gussied up, and was ushered in the door by a woman carrying many boxes of fancy cupcakes.

Inside the house I found a bar (with a hired bartender)(and I did NOT waste that opportunity), platters of food, 3 PSYCHICS who would give you a reading if you signed up on their appointment sheet (and was not otherwise engaged in stuffing your face with a cupcake when your turn came), a dancer who looked as if she'd been hand picked from a Vegas showline and plunked down on Mercer Island to perform for us (er, for the men), feathered headdress and all. 

And, oh, my caramels that had looked so festive when I'd grabbed them, looked positively diminutive and silly sitting on the counter of the cavernous kitchen.

Ah, well. I tried. The people were all very nice to me and I was happy to have been invited.

*******

We got our Christmas tree this weekend. It was touch and go for a while on Saturday. I threw a giant tantrum and sat in my room knitting for two hours straight, forcing my family to abandon their plans for the great tree-getting. I actually sobbed into a Kleenex that I j-j-just w-w-wasn't up t-t-to getting the t-t-tree that day. Oh, the drama.

Sunday I woke up in a much better frame of mind, so we trucked off to our favorite, festive spot to get our Douglas Fir.

And therein lied (layed?) the root of my tantrum. I wanted to cut our own. In a field somewhere. I was envisioning Christmases from my Michigan childhood, where we'd clomp around in snow up to our knees, choose a tree, sing Christmas carols on the way home then drink hot chocolate while we decorated.

But Home Depot in the rain is nice too.

Actually, it was fine. The kids don't know any better, and it was convenient to be able to get it and come home in a matter of 45 minutes.

Now it's up and decked out and, ironically, is probably one of the nicest trees we've ever had.

*******

A few more random things:

1. I found a gingerbread house kit on Friday that is 100% safe for Fruit Bat! I had been studying YouTube videos showing techniques to make your own gingerbread walls and roofs and Googling Vegan Royal Icing, with no convincing results. I was devising plans for how I would construct these illustrious gingerbread houses with the kids around, without losing my freaking mind. I was fending off Fruit Bat's pleas for a gingerbread house by wearing my earmuffs whenever he wasn't in school. But then I found this KIT! And I'm delirious with joy! The brand is Orbit Cookies, in case anyone has the same food allergies as Fruit Bat (peanuts, tree nuts, dairy, egg) and is looking for a safe kit.

2. Manuscript submission tally: One reject, One request for the full manuscript. 50%. I can live with that.

3. 12.5 hours spent with a three-year-old is too, too much. As I was reminded of on Friday. It's fine for a while. Even enjoyable. She's just so darling and funny, even when she stomps her foot and claims that she will "Nevva Evva" get in the car. But then preschooler fatigue sets in around 2 pm. Or possibly more like 9 am, when I find can't take another minute of the incessant chattering and requesting my help and unreasonableness and where's my damn VILLAGE? Because I need one. 

Oh wait, they're back in Michigan.

Yeah. The end.

Comments

[Michele]

Home Depot is fine for trees. Especially when you are dragging kids along.

Congrats about finding the vegan gingerbread house. I hope it turns out well.

50% is good.

3 year old meltdowns are never pretty. 40+ year old (mine) ones are worse.

[kd@abitsquirrelly]

We cut our own tree, but only because I insisted since we are most likely leaving the NW **CRY** and won't be able to do it again until who knows when...

PS I like chocolates.

[Alix]

I think you're brilliant. Love your blog!

[nutmeg]

We're thinking of going the fake tree route - trying to save some trees. It makes me cry too. I hate effing fake trees. I want the trees of my childhood too which I think were all bought from a Wino on a city street corner in the heart of Trenton, New Jersey. Ah, the memories...

Did you make that monkey? I too have recently started ignoring life by knitting. I want to make a monkey!

[mrs.chicken]

I miss my village, too.

Love the monkey, hon.

[M]

And your village misses you, too. It would be so great if you could drop by and oh, leave kitty cat for an hour or two. But..no, your village is up to their eyeballs in snow, wondering what this winter has in store for us. Rain is no good, but day after day of storm warnings and watches has us all thinking of spring and summer and it isn't even winter yet! Love you.

[inthefastlane]

We finally cut down out own tree this year. Last year, a kid with strep cause a trip to a Home Depot rival.

And yes, 3.5 year olds should only be allowed in small doses.

[Stacy (mama-om)]

Oh, I've been mourning the loss of my village for years.

Years.

(congrats on 50%!!)

[kcinnova]

Well, MY village is in your neck of the woods, and I was far away when I needed them. (Even when I called for help and they had said they would come running if I called? They being my mommy, um, didn't come.) So there's that.
Now I'm still far away and hopefully not in need anytime soon.
I try to make my own village where I am.

[jessica]

I love your blog!

We always got our tree from the local grocery store parking lot. Two years ago we went to a U-cut place for the first time with our two kids in tow. It was pretty fun, but after kid #3 (accidental surprise!) came along, we're back to wherever we can find a cheap nice tree - Chubby & Tubby's!

[rachel]

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who throws Mama tantrums. I've decided it's good for the kids to see me express my emotions, as long as I apologize later and don't smack anyone.

We have a fake tree after years of obsessive worry/water checking and bad/dead cheap trees. Much easier, but I do feel strange saying, "Ok, kids, let's put up the tree! Now hand me that piece and bend those branches down like that.."
But the thought of trudging through a tree farm forest with 6 yr old and 2 1/2 yr old? No thank you.

[Melanie @ MelADramatic Mommy]

50% is good! I thought I would find a village being a SAHM but not so much. Congrats on the gingerbread. I've heard it's a really fun project.

[Leslie]

I'm part of your village, you know. Call me any time to let off steam. Or talk fashion, whadeva!

I lived on a tree farm for part of my life and spent a big chunk of my life planting seedlings, watering them, watering them watering them wateringwateringwatering them. We moved away from the tree farm before they got big enough to harvest. I drove by last summer when I was at my reunion and they were HUGE trees. Ah, time. Now I have a fake tree.

I heard somewhere that Home Depot sells more trees than just about anywhere in the country. Tradition is shifting, I guess.

[Carrie]

You got to go to a party? Lucky you, especially one with a bartender!

Glad you found a good tree and some gingerbread for the little one, those are important things you know!

And, I think we all miss our villages (even if they are close by) during this time of year a little more than usual . . . hugs.

[Leslie]

I feel your pain a lot. My village is in Colorado and in Hawaii - a long way from Oregon. I miss my village a lot - especially around the holidays!!

We're getting our tree this weekend but it's supposed to snow and be super cold around here on Saturday so we might just be trucking it to Home Depot too!

[Parul]

Where did you find the kit?
my village is in India - that would make it almost a 24 hr flight one way :(
We went the fake tree route this year...it was just easier...found it at home depot too!
(and 50% is great!)

[Must Be Motherhood]

Wait--you got a request for the full book manuscript? ROCK ON!

[BOSSY]

Bossy is your village! Totally. Only issue is all the land, and a few waterways, between the two coasts.

[K]

Please assist in equine rescue...there is no need to slaughter our horses. Thanks in advance for supporting our beloved horses.
Karla

[Nora Bee]

I'll be part of your village! Where do I sign up? :-)

I am about farms the way you are about Christmas trees. Going to the pumpkin patch/farm to get our Halloween pumpkins as a tourist from the city just felt WRONG.

[JCK]

MY oh, my...you have FESTIVE parties up there in the north end. ;) I'd take your pretzels over cupcakes any day of the week, girl.

So wonderful that you found a gingerbread kit that is safe!!

And the spending looong hours with preschoolers bit? Oh, yes. I'm there.

[MommyTime]

I love this post for so many reasons. Our tree came from the big HD this year too -- we couldn't argue with $14.99. In fact, it's huge and gorgeous too, though I was sad to miss the u-cut. If it makes you feel any better, the two places we used to cut our own (here in MI) have stopped offering self-cut trees, so perhaps you're not missing it all.

As for the preschooler thing: I hear ya' sister! Oh, there are days when I think I will lose my mind at around hour ten with the two of them. Next time you feel like that, email me. Perhaps we can have a virtual playdate. I know you don't need any more Michigan village, but it could be fun...

HUGE HUGE congratulations on the ms, though! That's amazing!!

[Vicki]

Would you please share where you found the gingerbread kit? I have a severely food allergic kiddo and need something dairy free/vegan. Thank you! :)