Sliding walls

For all of us, there are a few select people we let into our lives. Really let in. Sometimes the reasons are obvious: a common love for certain books, a shared lust for This American Life and good margaritas, a mutual admiration for how the other conducts his or her life.

But I also like to think there's something a little cosmic in the connection. Some sort of star-crossed "meant to be".

Whatever the reasons, we form bonds. They start off flimsy and tentative, but thicken the more we give: information, time, respect.

And then, inevitably, we hurt each other. A wall slides into place with a scraping concrete thud, leaving the two people on opposite sides, either looking for a way over, or turning their backs with arms crossed, faces set in stubborn grimaces.

I am, probably, especially guilty of this. J. often accuses me of defensiveness.

But everyone lets it happen. We sense that we've been too welcoming and we start with the trowel, the brick and mortar. Or, once it's built, we are afraid of scaling the wall, of risking a long, painful tumble over the other side with no one to catch us.

So we navigate these relationships. We say things. We hurt people. Walls slide between, and hopefully screech away again, like scenery wheeled across a stage.

Comments

[jenn]

That's very powerful imagery, Angie! Reminds me of my oldest friend... we'd been in each other's lives since we were in third grade. Had a falling out over a stupid misunderstanding and haven't really talked in about three years. :-(

[kcinnova]

The photo makes me wonder...do we push against those walls, trying to dislodge a brick or two, to peer into the other side?

I move every few years, and I know that I start building a wall --sometimes almost immediately, but definitely it starts a year prior to the move. It keep all but the closest of friends from getting too close. Those kinds of walls are walls of protection and they are built from the ground up.
I am intruiqed by the idea of a wall that slides into place... that kind perhaps happens quickly, rapidly erected because of hurt?

[Kerri Anne]

I so needed to read this day, as I have been battling a few walls put up by myself and others the past few weeks.

[Melanie @ MelADramatic Mommy]

Oooh, gave me chills!

[Nora]

It is tough, those walls. Protective and isolating at the same time...

[JCK]

I'm trying to poke holes in walls as fast as I'm sealing them up!