Okaaayyy, that last post riled one or one of you. And, to the one, I'm so sorry for your losses and frustrations. Truly. I have been incredibly lucky to have been able to bring two fantastic, thriving, loving little people into the world. I am thankful for my good fortune everyday. I may not express it here, necessarily, but I do feel it. And my children know it, too. I (often) hug them and murmur sweet nothings in their small, seashell ears and kiss every inch of pale, smooth skin when they let me.
I didn't mean that last line (Jealous?) to be flippant. I meant it to be funny.
Mothering is this huge, fluid, amazing, heartwarming/wrenching, aggravating thing. And sometimes it siphons the living soul right out of you. When it does, you just have to laugh and make fun of it. Or cry. Or both.
But, yeah. I can't make this blog only about how honey-warm-and-sweet parenting is, because a lot of it sucks. It's the truth. Doesn't mean I'm not grateful.
And now I'll stop with the defensive bit.
In other news,
• It's Delurker Day. If you read All Adither, if it ever amuses you enough to turn up the corners of your mouth or annoys you enough to grunt at the screen, please comment. I would love to know you're out there. It keeps me inspired.
• I saw a man this morning, a Real Change vendor, crushing a cracker into the pavement with his shoe while a pigeon waited patiently nearby. When the man was done, the pigeon pecked away at the crumbles. It was so sweet.
• We're all thinking about Haiti today. About the poorest of poor nations with an unstable government, shoddy infrastructure and suffering people. If you'd like to donate and haven't decided where you'll give yet, consider Doctors Without Borders and Partners in Health. Both are highly-rated organizations with strong histories in helping humanity.
• I recently sold something on ebay so I could afford to buy another lens for my Rebel. (And, oh God, how absurd does this sound considering the previous bulleted item?) The woman who bought this something, one of the only semi-valuable somethings I actually owned, has struck up a friendship of sorts with me, emailing me about her life, her husband, her sons. She ends each email with a question, drawing me further into the dialogue. Not in a stalkerish way at all. Just in a, you are human and you seem friendly way.
One of the joys of life is connection, yes? Is knowing there are so many good people out there.
Hi there. In the spirit of delurker day...here I am! Can't really remember how I found your blog, probably something to do with the fact that you're from Seattle - so am I. :)
Anyway, just wanted to say hi. And that last bullet point is very nice, stuff like that always makes me happy!
Posted by: Corinne | January 14, 2010 at 11:50 AM
I am not a complete lurker, but I'm happy to delurk for the day! What a beautiful way to say "I'm sorry, didn't mean to offend anyone." But I know what you meant. I have two kids too, and know about feeling extremely lucky and completely worn out and gripey at the same time!
I keep thinking I'll bump into you somewhere and then will have to awkwardly introduce myself without looking like a stalker!
Posted by: RachelB | January 14, 2010 at 11:53 AM
I'm glad you love your kids, although I already knew that. :) One of the reasons I like to read your blog (besides your short stories!) is that you aren't afraid to "be real" when it isn't all sunshine & daisies. And then I go away feeling blessed for the opportunities I have in mothering my own brood.
Happy DeLurking Day! (Stop by and say howdy tomorrow, since I'm procrastinating...)
Posted by: kcinnova | January 14, 2010 at 12:07 PM
I've kind of already DeLurked, but I'm officially doing it now---upgrading to following status.
I totally get the parenting bit. You sound like a much nicer parent than I am, to tell the truth. Some days I snap---TWANG-ANG-ANG---pretty quickly.
Posted by: Mama JJ | January 14, 2010 at 12:15 PM
See how I de-lurk! Love your writing.
Posted by: Amy | January 14, 2010 at 12:24 PM
Love the de-lurker idea...can I borrow it?
I think I may have a few...not you of course, thanks for that!
Posted by: Cactus Petunia | January 14, 2010 at 04:28 PM
I'm not wearing a trench coat, but delurking anyway!
Posted by: jac | January 15, 2010 at 12:37 AM
Delurking here for the first time. I really enjoy your blog and love it when you post another Greener Grass chapter.
Posted by: Catherine | January 15, 2010 at 03:04 AM
Angie - I just love your blog. You are an excellent writer. Keep up the good work!
Posted by: Rita | January 15, 2010 at 04:04 AM
Here I am! Great post!
Posted by: m | January 15, 2010 at 05:16 AM
Delurking to say "hi" =)
Posted by: Crisanna | January 15, 2010 at 07:21 AM
Love reading you. Love your perspectives, and how you seem to always find joy and beauty in small things that I would overlook.
Posted by: Jojo | January 15, 2010 at 07:47 AM
Peek a boo - here I am - I think I may have commented before - long, long ago!
My kids are a little older than your kids and I do miss that chattiness - my teenager likes to roll her eyes at me now, but she does chat with me some - but now it is more about school, frustrations, and who did what, what I don't do etc. Good, but not the same. Love to read your writing!
Posted by: JJ | January 15, 2010 at 07:47 AM
Time to delurk, love your blog been reading for a while, quess that makes me a lurker
Posted by: Jennifer | January 15, 2010 at 07:48 AM
It's always hard to balance honesty about the hard stuff with acknowledgment of the good.
Love those surprise connections.
Posted by: Kristy | January 15, 2010 at 08:40 AM
I agree with you 100%. What good is having a good life, if we can't complain about stuff once in a while?
Posted by: tena | January 15, 2010 at 09:08 AM
Not a lurker, but I feel I must comment today anyway... There will always be people who are shocked and offended by honesty. Your frank recounting of parenthood is what keeps me checking my RSS feed for your new posts every day. I read it for your fiction as well, of course. I am not even a parent yet (my first child is due in April), but I have been loyally following the stories of your life and children (as if you are a friend) for almost a year now. Stumbled here from Half Ass Kitchen BTW. Keep up the good work.
Posted by: Laura in the Chi | January 15, 2010 at 09:16 AM
I am de-lurking today as well...been reading your blog for a while and have become a devoted reader of your posts. It was nice to find someone writing about a lot of the thoughts and feelings I have about parenthood, marriage, missing your family (I am a midwest transplant living on the East coast). Love your honesty-keep writing!
Posted by: Kittie | January 15, 2010 at 02:44 PM
I've posted a few times before so I'm not a complete lurker. I love your blog and your honesty. You are an excellent writer.
Posted by: Holly | January 15, 2010 at 07:13 PM
Delurking here in AZ today. I read your blog regularly and most enjoy (empathize with) your stories and struggles about parenting and relationships. You keep it honest yet thought-provoking and warm at heart. Thank you!
Posted by: Debbie in AZ | January 15, 2010 at 09:41 PM
I'm humbled and delighted to know you're out there. Thank you for chiming in!
Posted by: All Adither | January 15, 2010 at 09:50 PM
De-lurking! And completely jealous, busy mornings like that are what I want in life.
I think I come here for the completely honest angst - so many people are afraid to just speak their feelings - and the happier stuff too. You've made me start journalling again and maybe one day I'll work up to blogging. Came over from PW quite a ways back btw.
Posted by: Louise | January 16, 2010 at 06:56 AM
You know I don't lurk! But every time you have a new post, I am very happy.
Remember, you can't please all the people all of the time. Just keep being you.
Posted by: Leslie | January 17, 2010 at 08:24 AM
Um, I wasn't riled ... maybe that came off a little more harsh than I actually felt, but I am so glad to see that you know how lucky you really are. Looks pretty good from this POV, but then, I know that having entire Sundays to myself and not having to do anyone else's laundry than my own, and taking a nap whenever I want probably sounds pretty good to you. Peace to all. Love, V
Posted by: Vanessa McGrady | January 17, 2010 at 07:07 PM
Hello... de-lurking here! Have been reading for a few months now. I enjoy stopping by to visit :)
Posted by: Cindy | January 17, 2010 at 10:24 PM