This is what it's like living at my house:
Fruit Bat (this morning before school, holding a plastic model of the solar system): "Mommy, Mommy? Mom. Mama. This is how I think the planets are aligned right now. This is how I think they are. Pluto isn't a real planet. It's a dwarf planet. There's another dwarf planet, too. Right, Mama? I think I knew about the other dwarf planet before scientists discovered it. Mama, look. Look, Neptune takes 244 of our years to go around the Sun once. I won't live that long, will I Mama? To see Neptune go around the Sun once."
I say, "Two hundred and forty four years? I don't think a person has ever lived that long, no." It makes me a little sad to say.
I am scrambling eggs for Kitty Cat, making fruit smoothies, trying to get Fruit Bat's lunch together, gathering library books to be returned, dumping vegetables in the slow cooker for dinner, emptying the dishwasher and transferring laundry from the washer to the dryer.
Kitty Cat is dancing around the living room with a yogurt-covered raisin in her mouth.
"Sit down and chew your food," I bellow. "Please. That's choke-able."
Kitty Cat says, "Two plus three equals four, right mommy?
"Five," I say. "It equals five."
"Let's pretend we're in a raisin factory and I'm the expert yogurt-covered raisin taster. Okay, mama?" She asks. "Let's pretend we're in a raisin factory and I'm the expert yogurt-covered raisin taster. Okay? Okay, mama?"
"Yes, let's pretend that. How are those raisins, expert taster?"
Fruit Bat: "Mama, why didn't they put rings around Neptune when they made this solar system. Neptune has rings too. How long do you think that red storm on Jupiter will go? How long Mama? How many years?"
"I don't know...thousands and thousands more years. Wait a sec, I'm turning on the blender."
"Mama," Fruit Bat says. "This smoothie is too watery. I don't like it. I don't want it."
"Watery? I made it the same way I did yesterday."
"No you didn't. It's too watery. It's gross. I don't want it."
"Fine, don't drink it then."
"Mom, uh, hello?" It's Kitty Cat chiming in again. "I wanted to wear a dress today? A pink one?"
"Go get a pink dress from your room then."
"I need someone to go up with me."
"You're almost five. You can go up yourself."
Crying. Whining. "I need someone to go up with me."
Fruit Bat finally agrees to go with her. He comes back down with a book of animals facts and asks me to read them.
"Oh, I'd love to, honey. But, after school okay? We're getting short on time now."
"Mama? Mama? Hey, Mama. Did you know there's a river in this part of Africa that crocodiles live in. And some people hunt them for their skin. Did you know that, Mama?"
"I think so," I say. "I do now."