If there's one thing that makes you want to reach your arms around your children and pull them into a silken cocoon where all that is served is strawberry milk and chicken nuggets, where nothing but Magic Schoolbus plays all day, where growth is arrested and everyone stays exactly the age they are for eternity, it's being around teenage boys.
One day this week, during Fruit Bat and Kitty Cat's winter break, we went up to the school to ride bikes. Slumped across the play structure were three kids, all male, all about sixteen. One was of Indian descent, the other two were white, with longish, scruffy hair. You know how they wear it now.
"What do you want to do?' one of them muttered.
"Get picked up by your mommy?" This was said, in an Indian accent, by a white kid, and was directed at the Indian boy.
"Nah."
"I wanna shoot people," the other white kid said.
The Indian boy: "I bet you do."
I watched Fruit Bat and Kitty Cat whizzing back and forth across the pavement on their small bicycles. Oh God, I thought. Oh, please. I hate these boys.
"So, man. What do you wanna do?"
It was right then that I reminded myself to enjoy this. Not being near the obnoxious teenage boys this. But having a six and four-year-old this. Because this is now and this is here, when Fruit Bat and Kitty Cat will still wind themselves around me like koalas grasping gum trees.
And it will not last forever.
And it will go fast than you think. My 15 year old daughter is being eyed by those 15 and 16 year old boys, and some older than that. Cringe!....
Posted by: inthefastlane | February 20, 2010 at 06:28 PM
yes, we must enjoy them now, even with the 6 yo girl drama that we get...
Posted by: Wendy | February 20, 2010 at 07:27 PM
"...wind themselves around me like koalas grasping gum trees."
Exactly.
Posted by: Mama JJ | February 21, 2010 at 03:21 AM
As the mum of 3 teenage boys (18, 17, and 14) plus one 10yo who still lets me snuggle him while we read at bedtime, please know that not all teenage boys are like the ones you encountered! Mine are actually quite sweet most of the time... and even though I did call the sheriff last week, it was because I was worried over one of them -- not because he was a runaway.
Also know that you have caught me on a good night, when I have not had to argue with my 17yo who is as stubborn as I am!
Posted by: kcinnova | February 21, 2010 at 09:41 PM
My kids are great, but having a teen and preteen is really different and I wonder how I could have thought those younger years were ever so tough! Each stage has its moments. The hard thing is that as they become teens they see your flaws more clearly in their search for their own independence - and quite often hold them up to you! When they are younger they do not see them as much - you are Mom and Dad. As they struggle into becoming their own person, critical and unsure of themselves you are the closest one there to be an example of "that is NOT what I will be." Not 24/7 of course. And that makes this stage much harder to find your way through as a parent - you already know your flaws - it is just harder to see then through the eyes of your child! But if you try to keep in perspective that they are looking for a safe place to land in their own search it makes it a little easier - they just come in for that landing with more stubborness and wailing and drama!
Posted by: JJ | February 23, 2010 at 07:09 AM
Thanks, ladies. JJ--fascinating and so astute. I can remember doing exactly that to my parents.
Posted by: All Adither | February 23, 2010 at 09:41 AM
One of the good things about teaching teenagers is that it makes them less scary. All that posturing is just hiding insecurity and awkwardness. Well, mostly. Some kids are just assholes in the same way that some adults are. But also, having taught the range from 7th grade to seniors, I can see an arc there. My oldest is 12 and in 6th grade. He went to his first middle school dance last weekend and I was so excited that he chose to go.
Posted by: Kristy | February 24, 2010 at 05:56 AM