So, I went back to work! Sort of. In a part-time-only-have-to-spend-a-few-hours-at-the-office-a-week way. And it's been good. Better than good. I feel more whole than I have in a while. More balanced. The situation, it seems so far, is perfect for me. My job is at a startup in a small office with only a few people. So few that I'm hopeful office politics are non-existent. Time will tell, I guess.
Coincidentally, I'm only a few blocks from where I toiled as a graphic designer for Alaska Airlines Magazine (speaking of bizarre office politics and dynamics). But this time I'm six floors above a wine shop! And steps away from gallons of coffee. And in the same room with other adults all trying to make a go of one particular website.
I possess a completely different attitude than the begrudging gotta-make-the-doughnuts, piss-poor demeanor I had when working full time as a single, childless girl. Granted, the hours here are fewer and I'm a contractor rather than an employee. Still, though, I've now been on both sides. I've experienced being the stay-at-home-mom, so isolated and bored I could do nothing for days on end but walk the kids around the neighborhood humming Tori Amos songs. I've learned that work-for-pay isn't the worst thing in the world.
A few parts of my life are suffering, of course. The manuscript, for one. Up until the hour I stole for it today, I hadn't touched it in weeks. I've neglected this blog, too, and any creative impulses I'd been surviving off of. It doesn't help that it's also the week of both Fruit Bat and Kitty Cat's birthdays, which are vortexes of wrapping, baking and celebrating.
But I imagine I'll settle in. I'll get a little extra child care and carve out time for it all. Unless I can somehow outsource the meal making, kid-nagging and dish washing.