Scarlet

She's yelling in the night. I stumble from bed, barely conscious. I had so hoped for a healthy stretch of sleep after my long (albeit self-imposedly long) weekend.

When I get to her room, she is sitting, saying that she threw up. I look and there it is, spread across her pillow. I feel terrible for her. I had turned off the monitor earlier in the evening and forgotten to click it on again. She'd been calling, she said, for a long time.

Her cheeks are violently red. She's the most composed little patient. This has always been her way. I change her pillow, get her a bucket, a cup of water. She is fiery hot, but amicable.

I sleep in her room, on a lumpy futon. Several times she wakes and asks for me, not sure if I'm really under the tousled blankets. No more vomit though. Thank God.

When I get up in the morning, not quite rested, J. is already gone. He has a filing due and will be away until midnight or so. Great, I think. I feel like I'm being punished for taking a chunk of the weekend off. 

Kitty Cat and I manage to get Fruit Bat to school.

And then we come back and collapse onto my bed. She watches cartoons while I meet deadlines on the laptop. I find I'm enjoying it. A quiet day fetching food and drinks, taking her temperature, doling out Tylenol. Her cheeks are still crimson. While she naps, I kiss them. She wants me close. I want to be close. We huddle that way until Fruit Bat gets a ride home.

He is delightful. Empathetic. Checking on his sister. He and I actually get a little time alone while she rests. We eat dinner across the table from each other, just he and I.

In the not so distant past, the thought of a day stuck at home with a feverish child while J. worked worked worked would've sent me into paroxysms of anxiety. I would've wrung my hands, ground my teeth. I'm a little nervous about what tonight will hold, afraid to hope for a long stretch of sleep. But now I have perspective, older children, and it is better. Much better than it was.

Comments

[m]

A different kind of "calendar" day! Progression! : )

[rima]

Oh, I hear you loud and clear on this one! My husband works long hours, too, and I used to positively dread those evenings. I guess it's true when they tell you "It gets better." And I hope your little Kitty Cat gets better soon, too.

[Whimsy]

I have to remind myself that it's probably not good form to first offer my compliments on your beautiful writing, you catch the moment so well, I can feel it. (Though there it is: the compliment before the heartfelt offering of feeling better soon.)

So yes: I do hope she's feeling better soon, and that you can get some good sleep.

[slouchy]

It is definitely better the older they get. Until, that is, they hit adolescence...

Hope she feels better very soon.

[Stacy (Mama-Om)]

It's funny because I used to freak out if my husband came home one minute later than I expected him. I could barely manage the idea of being with the kids on my own any longer.

But last month he was working long, long days (from 6 AM to 11 PM) and the kids and I actually had a really wonderful time (they're now almost seven and three and a half). Granted, it was easier for me to fill our days because I could plan for them, and I knew it wasn't going to be every night forever, but the difference was shocking.

I hope your daughter is feeling better! I have heard that the stomach flu is going around.

[Health Insurance]

Wait 'till they get older, it would turn up to be much worse than you are experiencing now

[medieval dress]

I hope all will be well soon. Wish you all the best.

[kcinnova]

Poor Kitty Cat.
It sounds like you are in a good place right now, content despite circumstances.

[Lisa]

I've been swamped for almost a week and just read this entry. I hope the week smoothed out quickly and that today you have a wonderful mother's day!

[Carrie]

I understand.

I feel like when the kids fall ill and Brett's on shift I'm being punished for something I did wrong.

But it does get better the older they are, and I find myself ever grateful for having a bed w/only one parent in it on those nights to make the job a tad bit easier.