If you go to the doctor because you're bruising easily and your skin is turning scaly, and the doctor finds you have low platelets, then tests you for the ANA antibody, which comes back positive and indicates that you're probably on the road to developing Lupus, though you don't yet technically have it, do not Google Lupus Symptoms. Do not listen to a friend (a nice and good friend, even) who regales you with stories of her aunt and how she's lost all her hair to Lupus.
Do not hark back to the one woman from your childhood town who you remember having Lupus and ask your mother what happened to her. You may find out she's died.
Also, don't dwell on the word Lupus itself. It's an ugly, roundy little word that makes you think of Pus-y Oompa Loompas.
And do not, at 11:30 pm while you're trying to drift off to sleep, start thinking about all the ways in which an autoimmune disease could fuck up your life.
Heed.
Doing such things will only require more Xanax than you legally have access to.
Update: Thank you thank you for all your kind words and positive thoughts. For the people asking, I just wanted to clarify things a bit. Lupus is an auto-immune disorder in which the body's immune system attacks its own cells. It can vary from mild to organ-threatening.
I first tested positive for ANA back in 2004 when I was pregnant with Claire and having some extreme skin issues. Since then, my titer (or the concentration of antibody in my blood) has risen. But is still not at a level which is considered Lupus. The patterns of the cells, however, indicate that Systemic Lupus (or SLE) is to come. It's possible it may not. Though I have been experiencing some vague Lupus symptoms for the past few years and think it's probably likely. Perhaps that's just my pessimism talking.
For the most part, besides some bad moments, I'm not incredibly freaked out about this. I may only get Lupus mildly. They may come up with better treatments for autoimmune diseases by the time I need them. Maybe I'll somehow skate out of it entirely.
Lupus has been on my mind, so I wanted to blog about it. I believe everyone has something health-related, or several somethings, to deal with in life. This is just one of mine.
Oh honey. That just blows. That beyond blows. I am so sorry.
Posted by: Shelly | January 31, 2011 at 02:47 PM
Oof. Shelly said it. Hugs.
I have noticed that doctors are often the most optimistic people with regard to their patients' health. Other people do mean well, of course, but I'd suggest that you go about this one the old-fashioned way, and listen only to the guy/lady in the white coat.
More hugs.
Posted by: glasseye | January 31, 2011 at 02:58 PM
LOL at your last sentence...the same could be said about many things.
Posted by: Bev | January 31, 2011 at 03:26 PM
Eek! I've been through some medical mystery stuff over the past few months and Lupus was one of the contenders. We won't think about that icky word, though. Sending you all kinds of positive vibes. Stay off the damn internet, girlie...
Posted by: Chris | January 31, 2011 at 04:25 PM
Oh my. I'm sorry, though I'm not sure what about, seeing as I don't know anything about Lupus.
(At first I thought you were writing about Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Maybe the cure for Oompa Lupus lies in a chocolate chip cookie?)
Posted by: Jennifer Jo | January 31, 2011 at 05:54 PM
Aside from what you and others have already written here, I can only add my hugs and positive thoughts.
This is one of those times when Google is Evil. I only trust the Mayo Clinic website when I am overcome with the need-to-know.
Posted by: kcinnova | January 31, 2011 at 05:54 PM
Stevie has lupus of the skin and he's perfectly fine, he just has to take some kind of internal sunscreen pill. YOU WILL BE FINE. TOTALLY FINE.
Love, V
Posted by: vanessa mcgrady | January 31, 2011 at 06:49 PM
Dr. Google is good and bad. I'm sorry.
Posted by: Melanie @ Mel, A Dramatic Mommy | January 31, 2011 at 10:52 PM
Oh that sucks. Google can be so cruel at times. Wishing you sweet dreams.
Posted by: CoffeeJitters | January 31, 2011 at 11:57 PM
Adding my good thoughts to the others, hoping to keep the Oompa Lupus at bay by the sheer act of positive commenting. Hang in there.
Posted by: Whimsy | February 01, 2011 at 09:21 AM
Sice its still " though you don't yet technically have it," think positive thoughts!
Sending you hugs and positive vibes too!
Posted by: Parul | February 01, 2011 at 01:03 PM
I had my first LUPUS sign at age 24. Since them, many miscarriages and many symptoms, signs etc... it is a pain but it could be worse. My sister and I both suffer from TWO DIFFERENT AUTO immune diseases (she has MS). We probably developed immune issues growing up in our childhood home which was totally infested by asbestos. However, LIFE is good and we can deal. It is a SUPER SCARY thing and you are right the word really sucks!
Posted by: Geezer Gang | February 08, 2011 at 04:17 PM
Wishing you the best...and sending thoughts of health and well being!
Posted by: Cactus Petunia | February 19, 2011 at 10:23 PM
Angie,
I was wondering if you had seen any other reports like this one.
http://www.dailyrx.com/news-article/busted-lupus-culprit-uncovered-11040.html
The researchers targeted the dendritic cells associated with the SLE reaction. Some promising results. Your a great mum n we all love fruit bat n kits, still I bet some of us wish sometimes you would share a bit more in the way of how YOU are getting along with things about you!
Posted by: Jenny | June 22, 2011 at 08:23 AM