Do I still look 35? Are my forehead wrinkles really as deep as photos lead me to believe? Am I still wantable, or just someone accessible he's used to having around? Is my brain as sharp? Sharper? Can I still pull off this skirt? Or do I look like I'm trying too hard? Do I need to spend that much on moisturizer, or can I keep using the cheap stuff? I notice grays. Not a lot, but more. Will my children see me as an old mom who only likes to sit and watch? Has my driving really degraded? Do I now have to squint and concentrate, my head craned over the steering wheel like an 80-year-old? How is that I haven't published a book yet? Gone to Japan or Paris? Will my husband really be 50 in three days? Fifty and counting. Can I still see? Life's ripples and valleys squiggle across the page so I have to hold it farther away. I'm starting now, to fear I won't do what I thought I was meant to.