Am I still...?

Do I still look 35? Are my forehead wrinkles really as deep as photos lead me to believe? Am I still wantable, or just someone accessible he's used to having around? Is my brain as sharp? Sharper? Can I still pull off this skirt? Or do I look like I'm trying too hard? Do I need to spend that much on moisturizer, or can I keep using the cheap stuff? I notice grays. Not a lot, but more. Will my children see me as an old mom who only likes to sit and watch? Has my driving really degraded? Do I now have to squint and concentrate, my head craned over the steering wheel like an 80-year-old? How is that I haven't published a book yet? Gone to Japan or Paris? Will my husband really be 50 in three days? Fifty and counting. Can I still see? Life's ripples and valleys squiggle across the page so I have to hold it farther away. I'm starting now, to fear I won't do what I thought I was meant to.

Comments

[Bobbi]

Ah yes, this would be the existential angst. You are in evolution, moving forward to exactly where you are supposed to be. But yes, you should go to Paris...

XO
B

[kcinnova]

You still look young to me... but then, I am 45 and look it. Mostly I embrace my years but sometimes... *sigh*
Youthful Romance fades but is replaced by deep friendship and deeper love. It's not a bad trade-off, esp. since the vision of that deeper love keeps his eyes on you.
Live your life in such a way that your memories make you smile. (And you ought to go to Paris.)

[maggie]

Oh man do I hear ya. Why just today I was looking in the mirror and pulling back my skin to smooth out the lines. Oh well. And please go to Paris.

[Averil]

"I'm starting now, to fear I won't do what I thought I was meant to do."

Oh yes. This is the age at which we begin to see the disconnect between our imagined destinies and the reality of suburbia. Go to Paris, sister, and buy yourself some sexy French lingerie while you're there. Carpe that diem.

[Leslie]

Remember, you will look back in ten years and wish you'd appreciated it more in the moment!! That is how life works!!

However, I agree, go to Paris. And maybe we'll have a botox party in the meantime! :)

[Heidi]

My current freak out is that I have acutely vivid memories of watching Charles and Diana's wedding and THAT WAS 30 YEARS AGO.

[Lisa]

I think this every day lately. Go to Paris or Japan and keep using the cheap moisturizer. If studies are to be believed it works better than expensive stuff. :)

[Alexis Owmizer]

Don't think that, you would only believe in it. First off, you should accept that aging is part of being human. You may do something about it if that makes you happy. But don't you quit just because another year passed by!