You're aware of the Seattle girl/woman imprisoned in Italy for killing her roommate. Of course you are. During the past four years you've heard her name hissed, spit bluntly, and chanted, the sibilant X at the end the perfect cupped-tongued reverberation for however compassionately or angrily you want her syllables to drop from your lips. You pass the TV and think Maybe... What do I know?
Amanda Knoxxxx.
It isn't until the week before the verdict on her appeal is expected that you really pay attention. You read the Rolling Stone feature, whose author exonerates her of committing a crime. You read other stories, too, where she's made out to be a slutty drug user with no regard for human life.
But you really start to watch her in court. You begin trolling the internet for news.
She's innocent, you think. Any halfway observant fool can see that. She moves with a gentle gait. She is full of emotion, but it's not remorse. She's done nothing for which to feel remorse. Her visible emotion is fear and anguish over what she's been through and her uncertain future.
You recognize another good girl when you see her. And you become a little preoccupied with her fate.
On the day her appeal verdict is announced, you sit in front of the TV waiting, actually shaky and teary. You realize you're ridiculous, but you can't help it. There is something about her you relate to. Not that you had the chance to travel abroad in college or visit that particular hilltown where she was kept, not that you're anywhere near her age. And even though you live in Seattle now, it is not your hometown.
It's her earnestness. Her anxiety.
When they announce her acquittal, you're elated. The world is an okay place. Justice, sometimes, still wins.
You watch her dad patiently field questions on the local news. You admire him. You wish the best for his daughter.
You know you'll encourage your own daughter to travel every chance she gets. It is already clear that she is also a good girl, that she wants to be a helpful, thoughtful person. Maybe she'll go to UW, too. Maybe she'll travel to Italy, where her parents went on their honeymoon. And probably everything will be fine.
But still, you wonder.
Mostly, though, you feel for this 24-year-old you've never met and likely never will.
You hope she'll be okay.
Unfortunately, I don't think she'll be able to just live her life. She's the only way her family can get out of approximately $1m in debt they've incurred, so healing will be postponed while she does talk-show appearances and the book thing. Who knows who she'll be at the end of that roller-coaster.
Posted by: Phil | October 08, 2011 at 12:22 PM
I also came to this late in the game, but was completely riveted after hearing from the journalist who uncovered a lot of the evidence in her favor. I think it is so compelling because, you're right, she could be us. Just some regular girl in college having a great time who becomes incredibly unlucky. Go, Amanda, Go!
Posted by: Vanessa McGrady Spiller | October 09, 2011 at 04:47 PM
I didn't know a thing about this case until I heard a couple of my blog buddies mention it--that's how out of touch I've become. Sounds like a nightmare for the poor kid.
Posted by: Averil Dean | October 10, 2011 at 07:37 AM
Peace to Amanda..sending her peace..it will take years.
Posted by: M | October 15, 2011 at 04:27 AM