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What's going on

I've been doing something really bad lately. Something born out of desperation. Something that is making my life so much better, but is really wrong.

I've been waking Claire up in the morning with a portable DVD player an and Angelina Ballerina show playing (not quietly) on her nightstand.

She eventually rolls over, props herself up and watches.

This is so much better than the poking, prodding, singing, tickling and Chatimal imitating I had been engaging in that I barely care I'm giving in to lazy parenting.

I'm tired of trying to do the right thing all the time. I tend to be an overthinker, an overworrier. Especially when it comes to my kids. So, on this one, I'm saying Fuck It.

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I got a new camera for Christmas. I KNOW. How spoiled can one girl possibly be? It's a Canon 60D. I'd had my Rebel for four years and worked that thing into the ground. I mean, it's still clicking along fine, but I felt ready to move up and my generous husband made it happen.

Here is a preliminary shot with the 60D and my friend's Sigma 10-20mm lens that I'm thinking about buying from him (I sold my old Tamron wide angle to fund a new/used one).

Yesterday was partly sunny, crisp and melancholy in they way late December can be and I went to Fishermen's Terminal in the Magnolia neighborhood to see what there was to shoot. It was fun for me. Next time I want to take a macro lens to get some texture close ups of the peeling, rusting boats.

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This is new year's eve! Already 2013 in some parts of the world.

I'm excited for the year ahead. I'm hoping for inspiration, amazing trips, yoga, as much love as I experienced in 2012, and balance.

I want the next 365 days to bring you whatever fills your tank and makes you happy. As always, thanks for reading!

Comfort

I took none of the photos above, but they all comfort me in one way or another. I hope you're finding comfort this week, too.

Smitten and smited

I woke up crying this morning. More accurately, I woke up from a bad dream and began to weep. This is not usual for me, but the dream was so vivid and so, so sad. It had to do with family and infidelity and losing touch with Max and Claire and...and... I couldn't shake it all day.

After lunch, we went to get our Christmas tree from a little lot in Seattle. It was a subdued sort of festive. Tree day is always fraught around here and I'm not quite sure why. It has something to do with expectations (though I could've sworn I'd beat them all down with my jaded forty-three-year-oldness) and hyper kids and my encroaching S.A.D. that always seems to sneak up this time of year. Let's just say that this morning's weep fest was followed by another equally disturbing cry while sitting on the stairway at dusk.

Now that it's dark I'm better.

I've thought of so many things I've wanted to blog about lately, but haven't had the time to put fingers to keyboard.

I've lost between 15 and 20 pounds in the past six months. I'm not saying this to brag, but because it scares me a little. I haven't exactly been measuring my food or even exercising.

So, size 8 pants for a 6'2" woman. Yeah, I don't know. The baby tummy et al is gone, but ???

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I had a HARD few days with Max this week, wherein I actually applied the word Tween to him. Everything, according to him, was stupid. He wasn't working hard or being very respectful. And then, in the snap of my fingers, he became sweet and adorable again. He copied his spelling words down neatly and was proud, he came up to me several times, wrapped his arms around my waist, and said he loved me.

Claire continues to be amazing most of the time. Her projects wear me out, but I do love that she is driven.

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And now, something fun! Hipstamatic prints. I got 9 made and am completely jonesing for more. I don't know what I'm going to do with them yet, but I'm smitten. I'm thinking of mounting a few on bamboo and have been watching YouTube tutorials. I'll keep you posted.