Half Assed Kitchen

Blackberry cobbler

Recently, we picked ourselves pints and pints of blackberries. Once we got them home and made a pie, we thought, Now what?

A cobbler, that's what. Easy, tart, and slightly sweet, a cobbler was the perfect second generation blackberry dessert. Served warm with whipped cream and sprig of mint, it makes an elegant last course. Or, you know, you can also eat it for breakfast alongside your Cornflakes.

Rating: Truly 1/2 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

2 cups blackberries

1 cup flour

1 cup plus one teaspoon sugar

1 egg

8 Tablespoons melted butter (or margarine)

1/2 cup milk

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Mix flour, sugar, milk, egg, and melted butter. Pour into a pretty dish. Top with blackberries and 1 teaspoon granulated sugar.

Bake 45 minutes to 1 hour, or until it turns golden and middle has firmed.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Homemade breadsticks

Who doesn't love a good, carby breadstick? They can be sprinkled with garlic and sea salt, rosemary and pepper, cinnamon and sugar or any other combination of toppings your little heart desires. They go with just about any meal or can be eaten alone as a snack. And they're simple! One thing we love about breadsticks is that they don't require two rises and a punch down. Just one 20 to 30 minute rise and then bake. Easy peasy.

They're also fun to make with kids. The kids can form the dough into all sorts of shapes. Like edible Playdoh.

Either way, these breadsticks are delectable. We highly recommend you make them immediately.

Rating: 1/2 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

1 cup warm water (not hot)

1 packet yeast

1 teaspoon sugar

3-1/2 cups flour

3 Tablespoons butter or margarine, room temperature

1 Tablespoon salt

Melted butter to brush over tops

Your choice of toppings

Mix warm water, sugar and yeast and let proof for 10 minutes (or until mixtures puffs up a little). Mix with flour, water, salt, and butter. If you have a mixer with a dough hook, knead with this for about 5 minutes. Otherwise, lay dough on hard, flat surface and knead by hand until dough is soft and elastic.

Tear off dough balls and shape into desired sticks, rings, or twists. Place on cookie sheets or pizza stone and let rise for 20 to 30 minutes. (We place dough in a 100-degree oven for rising.)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Brush with melted butter and sprinkle with toppings. Bake for 20 to 30 minutes, or until tops are just turning golden. Remove from oven, but eat as many warm ones as you can.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Dirty martini dip

When we first tried it, we couldn't get enough of this dip that is just as naughty as its name implies. Cream cheese, green olives, mayo, bacon, vodka, and scallions, while not a particularly healthy combination, sure is tasty.

This dip is easy and looks festive served in a martini glass with olives on the side. Give it a try for your next party or get-together and see if you come home with any left (we're betting you won't). Serve with fresh bread torn into bite-sized chunks. (Crackers and pretzels are good, too, but add more sodium to the already salty-ish dip).

Rating: 1/4 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

1 8-ounce package cream cheese (low fat works too)

1 Tablespoon mayo (again, can use low fat)

1/4 cup vodka or milk

3 pieces bacon crumbled (optional)

1/3 cup green olives, chopped

3-4 scallions, white and light green parts sliced

Mix all ingredients in medium-sized bowl. Chill until ready to serve.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Lemon cake with lemon buttercream frosting (vegan)

Let's just pretend we didn't say this was vegan. (Unless of course you shun all animal products, in which case, VEGAN!) This cake rocks. It's just the right amount of dense/moist, with a fantastic lemon undercurrent. And the icing? So lemony sweet it'll knock your ankle socks right off.

Our friend made this cake for her daughter's birthday a few weeks ago and everyone raved and drooled and scraped the last bits of cake and frosting up with their forks. You won't waste a crumb. This recipe was taken and adapted from Savvy Vegetarian.

We're talking cake from scratch, here. So, we're sorry to say, it's not Half Assed. But it's simple and delicious and not Full Assed by any stretch of the imagination.

Rating: 3/4 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

Cake:

2/3 cup vegan margarine

1 cup sugar

3-1/2 cups white flour

3-1/2 Tablespoons corn starch

2-1/2 teaspoons baking powder

1/2 teaspoons baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

1-1/2 cup almond, soy, or rice milk

1/2 cup lemon juice

Zest from one lemon

Frosting:

1 cup vegan margarine

1 pound powdered sugar

Zest from 2 lemons

3-4 Tablespoons fresh lemon juice

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter and flour a 9 x 12” pan or 2 9” round cake pans. Mix almond milk and lemon juice and set aside to curdle. Cream butter and sugar. Combine flour, cornstarch, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Add dry ingredients, almond milk mixture, and lemon zest to butter mixture. Mix all ingredients together until just blended.

Spread the batter evenly in the pan(s) and bake 35 to 45 minutes until slightly golden in color and firm in the center. The 9 x 12 pan will take longer to bake than the 9” rounds.

Remove from pans and cool on racks.

For Frosting:

Using a hand-held mixer cream together margarine, sugar, and zest until smooth. Sift the icing sugar into the mixture through a medium strainer. Gradually beat in lemon juice 1 Tablespoon at a time, stopping when the icing has reached the right consistency for spreading. Refrigerate in an air tight container until needed. Allow to soften before using.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Creamed corn

  
 

This isn't your usual, canned creamed corn. This creamed corn, brought to you by Real Simple, is buttery and peppery, with little bits of onion to jazz up the creaminess. It's a great way to use fresh corn you'll find everywhere from now until mid September, or an easy side dish to toss frozen kernels into. Is there such a thing as comfort vegetables?

Rating: Truly 1/2 assed if you use frozen corn, 3/4 assed with fresh corn

Here's what you need and how you do it

2 Tablespoons butter

1 small onion, chopped

4 cups fresh corn kernels (from 8 ears)

1 cup half-and-half (or soy creamer)

Salt and Pepper

1 Tablespoon flour if using frozen corn

Melt butter in a medium saucepan over medium-high heat. Add the onion and cook, until beginning to soften (stirring occasionally). Add corn, half-and-half, and salt and pepper to taste. Simmer until corn is tender and cream has slightly thickened.

If using frozen corn, add the flour to softened onions and cook for 1 minute before adding corn and half-and-half.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Divvies' Chocolate Chip Cookies

We love Divvies. We love Divvies because our son has severe food allergies and, for quite a while, Divvies was one of our only options for non-homemade cookies. And a delicious option it's been. Recently, Lori Sandler, the mom behind Divvies, released The Divvies Bakery Cookbook, published by St. Martin's Press. Inside, you'll find amazing recipes for things like cupcakes, fudge, and candy, as well as delicious ideas for quick treats and snacks.

If it sounds like we're trying to sell this cookbook, we are! We love it. In fact, our initial plan was to give away our one and only copy to a Half Assed Kitchen reader, but we've decided we can't part with it. So, if you want it, you'll have to buy your own.

To tide you over, though, we're posting the recipe for Benjamin's Chocolate Chip Cookies. The recipe that started the Sandlers down the path of founding Divvies.

Update: Lori Sandler has generously offered to give away one copy of The Divvies Bakery Cookbook to a lucky Half Assed Kitchen reader. All you have to do is head over to Divvies' contact page, enter your info (if you don't mind doing that) and mention Half Assed Kitchen in the Message field. Good luck!

  
 

Rating: 3/4 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

2 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

1-1/2 teaspoons Ener-G Egg Replacer

2 Tablespoons water

1 cup dairy-free margarine

3/4 cup granulated sugar

3/4 cup packed, dark brown sugar (we used light brown)

1/4 cup silken tofu, pureéd

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

2 cups Divvies Semisweet Chocolate Chips (you can use any chocolate chips you find that are safe, we do Trader Joes Semi-Sweets)

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. LIne three cookie sheets with parchment paper.

In a large bowl, whisk together flour, baking soda, and salt. Set aside.

In a small bowl, whisk the egg replacer with the water until well dissolved. Set aside.

In a mixing bowl, beat margarine and sugars with an electric mixer on high speed until just fluffy. Be sure to scrape down the sides of the bowl with a spatula and continue to mix.

Add the pureéd tofu, egg replacer, and vanilla to the mixing bowl. Mix until well combined, scraping down the sides of the mixing bowl.

Add the flour mixture to the wet ingredients and mix until well incorporated. Fold in 1-3/4 cups of the chocolate chips by hand, and be certain not to over-mix the dough.

Scoop the cookie dough with a #24 ice cream scooper, and place the scoops 2 inches apart on the parchment paper-lined cookie sheets. Flatten each scoop slightly with your hand.

Bake the cookies in a preheated oven for 18-20 minutes, rotating the cookie sheets halfway through the baking time, until the edges begin to turn golden.

After the cookies have been baking for about 5 minutes, distribute the remaining 1/4 cup of chocolate chips among the cookies, placing a few on top of each.

Cool the cookies directly on the baking sheets.

Makes two dozen 3-inch cookies.

Half Assed corners we cut: Mix the dry and wet ingredients in one big bowl. Forget the ice cream scooper and use a regular spoon. Mix all the chocolate chips in at once. Also, we only baked ours for 8 to 12 minutes. We have kind of a crap oven, but if we would've gone to 18-20 we would've had charcoal briquets on our hands.

Sandler also notes that you can mix the cookie dough in with dairy-free ice cream for a chocolate chip cookie dough treat. We love this idea!

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Creamy lime slaw

We found this ingenious concoction of cabbage, lime, and yogurt where else? Real Simple. It gives coleslaw a fresh, lower fat twist and is such a fine blend of tangy and creamy that you'll never want to make traditional slaw again. Recently, we whipped it up for a barbeque and received many raves as well as recipe requests.

Rating: Truly 1/2 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

1/2 head green cabbage, sliced thinly

1/2 head red cabbage, sliced thinly

4 green onions, cut long on the bias

1/2 cup fresh cilantro leaves

2 limes

1/2 cup yogurt (preferably nonfat Greek)

1-1/2 teaspoon sugar

1 teaspoon sea salt

1/2 teaspoon pepper

Toss together onions, cabbages, and cilantro in a large bowl.

Zest both limes and juice one lime. In a bowl, mix lime zest and juice, yogurt, sugar, salt, and pepper. Pour dressing over cabbage mixture and stir to combine.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.
 

Fresh salsa

 

Here's a delicious recipe for basic salsa, a great way to use up those tomatoes that are ripening in your gardens. If your ingredients are fresh, it's impossible to screw this up. A Cuisinart, or some other chopper, really comes in handy, but we made this with an old fashioned knife and cutting board. It took about twenty minutes.

Rating: (with Cuisinart) 1/4 assed, (with knife) 3/4 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

2 pounds tomatoes

2 jalapeños, seeded and cored

1 clove garlic, peeled

1 onion

1/2 cup fresh cilantro leaves (do not omit, delicious)

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon ground cumin

2 Tablespoons fresh lime juice

Mince all ingredients and mix together. Refrigerate 30 minutes to blend flavors. Eat within a couple of days (best on first day).

Makes two to three cups of salsa.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Applesauce Cake with maple buttercream frosting

This recipe, taken from the Betty Crocker cookbook (we know, SO old school) is a one-bowl delight. Simple and moist. We're in love. And maple buttercream frosting adds the perfect rich note.

Rating: 3/4 assed (Maybe 1/2 assed if you omit the chopped nuts)

Here's what you need and how you do it

2-1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1-1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce

1-1/4 cups sugar

1/2 cup butter or margarine

1/2 cup water

1-1/2 teaspoons baking soda

1-1/2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice (or 1/2 teaspoon each of cinnamon, ginger, and nutmeg)

1 teaspoon salt

3/4 teaspoon baking powder

2 large eggs

1 cup raisins (optional)

2/3 cup chopped nuts (optional)

Maple buttercream frosting

3 cups powdered sugar

1/3 cup butter or margarine, softened

1/2 cup maple syrup

May also stir 1/4 cup finely chopped nuts into frosting.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease bottoms and sides of a 13x9 inch pan or two round pans. Beat all ingredients except raisins and nuts in a large bowl for three minutes. Stir in raisins and nuts.

Bake 30 to 35 minutes, or until toothpick inserted in center of cake comes out clean.

Mix all frosting ingredients until smooth. Spread onto cake.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here. 

Garlic steak salad

It's July, folks! We kind of want to eat nothing but salad. And red meat, of course. With lots of garlic, mushrooms, fork tender bell peppers and crisp greens. That's what you get with this yummy steak salad that we adapted liberally from Food & Wine. Use lean beef and you have a pretty healthy, very scrumptious summer meal.

On a just barely related note, head on over to Half Assed Kitchen Giveaways and enter to win a cute beach tote from Simply Bags.

Garlic Steak Salad

Rating: Truly 1/2 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

1 pound steak such as New York strip, ribeye or boneless sirloin

Several cups greens

Olive oil

1-1/2 cups button mushrooms, sliced

1 red bell pepper, minced

1 large avocado, cut into chunks

Creamy Garlic Dressing:

1 garlic clove, pressed or finely minced

3 Tablespoons cream or half-and-half

3 Tablespoons mayonnaise

2 Tablespoons white wine or white vinegar

1 teaspoon dijon mustard

1 Tablespoon fresh, flat-leaf parsley, chopped (optional)

1 teaspoon oregano

Salt and pepper to taste
 

Grill steak or sear in a skillet to desired doneness. Let sit for five or ten minutes before slicing. Sauté mushrooms and bell peppers in olive oil until mushrooms release their liquid and peppers are just soft but not mushy.

Meanwhile, whisk together dressing ingredients.

Arrange greens on plates. Top with mushrooms, peppers, avocado, sliced steak, and dressing. Top with croutons if desired.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.