Half Assed Kitchen

Super simple linguine with clam sauce

We're not huge clam fans. They're okay. When they're well disguised.

But we really like this dish. It's our dad's recipe and it couldn't be easier.

Here's what you need and how you do it

• One can minced or whole clams

• About half a box of linguine, cooked

• Olive oil

• 1 teaspoon garlic

• salt and pepper to taste

Drain clams, but save the juice in a separate bowl. Saute clams with garlic in olive oil. Add clam juice and let simmer uncovered for 10 or so minutes. Add salt and pepper to taste. Toss with linguine.

An easy summer dinner!

The original lazy-ass dinner: Goulash with shredded chicken

All Hail the Goulash. Ours is not all that Hungarianly authentic, but it's easy and good and can be made with ingredients you usually have on hand.

This is an adaptation that uses shredded chicken rather than ground meat (we're not big on ground beef or turkey around here). And a few dashes of this and that that really bump it up a notch on the flavor scale.

Here's what you need and how you do it

2 to 3 boneless, skinless chicken breasts

Pasta, any shape (We used spiral, whole wheat for this particular version)

2 to 3 15-ounce cans of diced tomatoes

2 to 3 cups of water

Olive oil

1 large onion, chopped

1 teaspoon chopped garlic

1 Tablespoon soy sauce

1 Tablespoon Paprika

1 Tablespoon Italian Seasoning

1 Tablespoon Old Bay Seasoning (if you have it)

1 Tablespoon cocoa powder (if you have it)

1 Dash of red wine (If you're so inclined)

Salt to taste

Brown chicken in a skillet, shred and set aside.

Coat bottom of dutch oven or large pot with olive oil. Add onion and garlic. Saute until onion becomes transparent. Add diced tomates, water, soy sauce, paprika, Italian seasoning, Old Bay and Salt and bring to a boil.

Add pasta. Cook until pasta is done. Add shredded chicken, cocoa powder and red wine.

Heat through, stirring often.

Serve with a salad of mixed greens and sourdough rolls. Or, you know, some sort of bread. Whatever. It's good. And simple. You should try it.

Grill Meat Safely

It's that time again. Mid-July: when the livin's easy (unless you have small children) and the grill is fired up more often than not.

We're sure you've heard the recent warnings about carcinogens found in grilled meat. We used to believe that these carcinogens were found in the charred, black bits around the edges.

Turns out that's not exclusively the case. Carcinogens are formed when high cooking temperatures cause a chemical reaction between naturally occurring amino acids and sugars in the meat and creatine, which is found in muscle tissue. So, while you shouldn't eat the charred bits because well-done meat contains more carcinogens than less well-done meat, the carcinogens actually reside throughout the cut.

One way to reduce 90% of these carcinogens is to marinade the meat in an oil- based sauce. 

And have we got a quick and easy answer for that.

Soy Vay Cha-Cha Chinese Chicken Salad Dressing.

We took two boneless, skinless, chicken breasts, placed them in a Ziploc bag and pounded them flat with a rubber mallet. We then poured the Chinese Salad Dressing right into the plastic bag and marinaded them for four hours (turning once).

Cook on the grill (at as a low temp as possible) and Enjoy!

Go here for more tips on how to reduce carcinogens in your grilled meat.

Sooooo yummy.

Black beans with lime and cilantro

 

We all know black beans are nutritious and, dumped straight from the can, easy too. To make them taste good, just fix them up with the ingredients listed below and take bland, black beans to a whole new level of snappy.

Rating: 1/4 assed. Absurdly easy.

Here's what you need and how to do it

Drain and rinse one can of black beans.

Warm in microwave.

Toss with chopped cilantro, diced red, yellow or orange bell pepper, fresh lime juice and salt to taste.

Mock scrambled eggs with dill

We have a severe egg allergy in our household (our five-year-old son), so we've learned to improvise in the kitchen quite a bit. For a long time we simply avoided anything eggy. But then we remembered seeing Scrambled Tofu on the menu at Cafe Flora in Madison Park.

At the time we were living in Michigan and scoffed at the crazy West Coast vegans who would actually eat scrambled tofu and call it breakfast. But now, twelve-or-so years later, we started thinking: maybe the West Coast vegans aren't so insane.

We did some research on the internet, played around with ingredients ourselves and found that scrambled tofu is pretty darn tasty. The great thing about tofu is that it absorbs any flavor you pair it with. So if you season it well, you'll be happy with it.

Here's what you need and how you do it

1 package extra firm tofu (not silken)

Butter or margarine

1 Tablespoon turmeric

Salt

Pepper 

Dill (optional)

Dry mustard (optional)

Drain the tofu and squeeze out excess water with your hands. Crumble into to a buttered frying pan. Stir in turmeric.

Add dry mustard, salt, pepper, dill and any other seasoning you'd like. Get creative!

Heat through and serve with sourdough toast

A really half-assed way to cook bacon

You know how when you're trying to fry up bacon and only a few slices will fit in the pan at once? And grease spatters everywhere and smokes and then you have to rotate out the cooked bacon and put in more raw bacon...

It's a big hassle.

Perhaps we're the last people on earth to hear about this, but did you know you could cook bacon in the oven?

Just be sure to use a cookie sheet with a lip (or an oblong baking pan would do nicely). Line the bacon across it and bake at 350 until done (10 to 15 minutes).