Half Assed Kitchen

Peanut butter chocolate bars

    
 

Oh jeez, oh gosh, oh crap. We apologize in advance for giving you this recipe. 

On the other hand, there's a good chance you already own a version of it. In which case, we apologize for reminding you these peanut butter chocolate bars exist. Because they are so good and so addictive you will eat the whole pan in one day and wonder why your jeans don't fit the next.

We didn't actually use peanut butter, because our son is highly allergic to it. Instead, we incorporated Sunflower Seed butter, which is fabulous in its own right. If you can, go ahead and use the real PB. Either way, these bars are rich, creamy, crunchy and heavenly.

We're sorry.

Rating: Truly 1/2 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

1 cup (2 sticks) butter or margarine, divided

2 cups graham cracker crumbs

2 cups powdered sugar

2 cups peanut butter, Sunbutter or some other nut/seed butter

2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips

In a saucepan, heat 1 stick (or 1/2 cup of butter) over medium heat. When melted, add graham cracker crumbs, powdered sugar and peanut butter. Stir until well mixed and remove from heat.

Spread evenly into greased 8x8 or 9x9 pan.

In another pot or in microwave, melt chocolate chips and remaining stick of butter. Whisk together until smooth icing is formed. Spread over peanut butter layer. Refrigerate for an hour before serving. Then cut into squares.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Shrimp risotto

 

Why didn't anyone tell us how crazy delicious and creamy risotto is? Why didn't anyone bellow from the rooftops that risotto isn't very difficult but the payoff is worth any amount of carpel tunnel you might suffer from stirring? We've had risotto before, sure. But we just, for the first time a few weeks ago, made it--the real stuff (no shortcuts)--ourselves.

We were blown away. We can't stop with the risotto. We make it with shrimp, we make it with chicken. We make it meatless. We love it any which way. And we bet you do too. 

We haven't gone wrong with this version yet.

Rating: 1/2 assed (there's a fair amount of stirring, but you know how to stir, right? Right!?)

Here's what you need and how you do it

4 Tablespoons butter or margarine

2 cups Arborio rice

1/3 cup onion, minced

2/3 cup dry white wine (Chardonnay works well)

4 cups chicken or veggie broth

1 cup grated parmesan cheese

2 cups shrimp, peeled, deveined

In a large saucepan, melt butter. When it foams, add onion and sauté over medium heat until onion is transparent. Stir in rice, coat with butter. Add wine and stir until wine is absorbed. Add enough broth to just barely cover rice. Cook and stir until broth is absorbed. Continue to add broth a little at a time and cook in this manner. Add water (or more broth, if rice is still not quite tender) and cook and stir a little more. This whole process should take about 30 minutes depending on your cooktop.

Remove from heat and stir in cheese and shrimp (we used pre-cooked, frozen and then thawed shrimp. If you have fresh, sauté in olive oil until pink and then add to risotto).

Cook for about five more minutes, until shrimp is heated through.

Serves 4.

Would go well with Spinach Apple Salad.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Homemade bagels

 

We've always wanted to try making bagels. It's hard to find good ones outside of Brooklyn, and they seemed like such a simple project (and they were). Not a lot of effort for the pleasure gained from a crusty, chewy piece of carb heaven. So, yesterday we finally did it. We followed this recipe. It was good. More than good. Doughgasmic? Maybe. Give them a try and let us know what you think.

Rating: 3/4 assed (only because you're using yeast and there's a fair amount of waiting)

Here's what you need and how you do it

4 cups flour

1 Tablespoon sugar

1-1/2 teaspoons salt

1 Tablespoon vegetable oil

2 teaspoons instant yeast

1-1/4 to 1-1/2 cups warm water

Mix all ingredients to form a stiff(ish) dough. Knead for ten minutes by hand or with dough hook on mixer.

Cut the dough into 8 equal-sized balls and let sit for 20 minutes (no longer). Roll each ball into a six- to eight-inch rope. Wrap each rope around your hand and squeeze ends together. Let bagels sit for another 20 minutes.

Preheat oven to 425 degrees.

Start water boiling. Drop each bagel into boiling water (don't overcrowd) and let boil for a couple minutes per side. Remove from water and set on greased cookie sheet.

Top with sesame seeds, poppy seeds, sea salt or whatever else your bagel-loving heart desires.

Bake for 15 to 20 minutes. Let cool slightly before digging in.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Pulled pork with cabbage and plum sauce

We're not sure if it's a little bit Asian or a little bit Mexican, but this entreé couldn't be much easier. It's pork tenderloin boiled or slow cooked until tender with shredded cabbage, chopped onion and plum sauce. Wrap it all in a tortilla and you have a hearty, fresh dinner for four or more.

Rating: Truly 1/2 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

1 pork tenderloin or pork butt

2 cups chicken broth

Salt, pepper and cumin to taste

Cabbage, shredded

1/4 cup red or green onion, chopped

4 parts plum sauce (found in the Asian section of most supermarkets) mixed with 1 part soy sauce

Tortillas

Add pork, broth, salt, pepper and cumin to a crockpot or stockpot. Slow cook (on high for 2-3 hours) or simmer on stovetop (medium-high for 1-1/2 to 2 hours). Cook until meat separates easily with a fork and internal temperature of 160 degrees is reached.

Shred pork and spoon into warmed tortilla. Top with cabbage, onion and plum/soy sauce.

Serve warm.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Oatmeal cookies

  
 
Warm oatmeal cookies with raisins, chocolate chips or nuts. Or maybe all three! This is what we call heaven. We tried Smitten Kitchen's recipe, but, though we love her blog, we weren't thrilled with the results. They came out too salty and crispy. Which could be attributed to the fact that we didn't refrigerate the dough as she suggested. We dunno.

But we loved the version we found (and modified slightly) on All Recipes. The cookies came out thick and chewy and extremely tasty.

Another great thing about these cookies? You can feed them to your kids for breakfast. We sometimes do. They're no worse than bowls of oatmeal dotted with chocolate chips or brown sugar. Well, okay, with the butter they may be a little worse. But there are eggs too! Protein!

So, bake these. Enjoy these. You won't regret inviting them into your lives. We promise.

Rating: Truly 1/2 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

1 cup butter or margarine, softened

1 cup white sugar

1 cup packed brown sugar

2 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

2 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

1-1/2 teaspoons cinnamon

3 cups oats

1 cup chocolate chips or raisins or nuts (or enough of each to equal one cup) (optional)

In a medium bowl, cream together butter or margarine, white sugar and brown sugar. Beat in eggs and vanilla. In a separate bowl, combine flour, baking soda, salt and cinnamon. Stir into the creamed mixture. Mix in oats. Fold in chocolate chips, raisins or nuts. (Here you can cover and chill dough for one hour, but we skipped this step.)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Grease cookie sheets. Scoop the dough into small balls and place two inches apart on cookie sheets.

Bake for 8 to 10 minutes. Allow cookies to cool on baking sheet for five minutes before transferring to wire rack to cool completely.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Lemony lentil soup with greens

 

Is this the perfect time of year for lentil soup, or what? Hot, hearty and layered with distinctive flavors, lentil soup is super good for you and delicious too. We must admit, our favorite lentil soup recipe comes from the old Moosewood Cookbook. We love the drizzling in of red wine vinegar. The vinegar works some sort of magic, makes the soup way more than it is otherwise (which is pretty darn good anyway).

 But we were reviewing Ellie Krieger's new cookbook So Easy, and she came up with a lemony version. We decided to give it a try. We liked it. It was a fresh, citrusy twist on lentils. We still prefer using red wine vinegar instead of lemon juice, but if you're up for something new, give this a try.

+~+We're giving away a hard cover copy of So Easy. Click here to enter. +~+

Rating: 3/4 assed (chopping)

Here's what you need and how you do it

2 teaspoons canola oil

1 small onion, chopped

1 large carrot, peeled and chopped

2 stalks celery, chopped

2 cloves garlic, minced

12 cups low-sodium chicken broth, plus more as needed

16 ounces green lentils (we used regular old lentils)

1 teaspoon dried basil

1 teaspoon dried thyme

1 teaspoon salt

6 cups kale leaves, chopped (we used spinach)

3 Tablespoons fresh lemon juice

1 teaspoon lemon zest, finely grated

Heat the oil in a large pot over medium-high heat. Add the onion and cook, stirring, until softened and translucent, 3 to 5  minutes. Add the carrot, celery and garlic and cook, covered, stirring occasionally, until the carrots are softened, about 5 minutes. Add 12 cups of broth, lentils, basil, thyme and salt and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low, add the kale (spinach) and cook until lentils are tender, 30 to 35 minutes, adding more broth if necessary. Stir in the lemon juice and zest, and serve.

Makes six 2-cup servings.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Stuffed mushrooms recipe

Stuffed mushrooms is an appetizer fave at almost every party. And around these parts, it's no exception. They're also easy as all get out. You remove mushroom stems, mix filling in a bowl, spoon filling into each mushroom and bake.

You can stuff mushrooms with almost anything and, as long as cheese and bread crumbs are involved, you'll have a winner.

We use feta, roasted red pepper, fresh parsley, butter, panko and a splash of white wine. But feel free to improvise. Quantities aren't set in stone either. You can add a little more of this or less of that depending on your tastes and what you have on hand.

 

Rating: 1/4 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

2 pounds button/crimini mushrooms, stems removed

1 cup crumbled feta/goat cheese/cream cheese, etc.

1/3 cup panko or other bread crumbs

1/4 cup fresh, flat-leaf parsley, chopped

1 Tablespoon butter

Splash white wine

Preheat oven to 350 F degrees. Mix all ingredients except mushrooms. Fill mushrooms. Place mushrooms on cookie sheet and bake for 8 to 12 minutes, or until filling is bubbly and golden.

Serve warm.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.