Half Assed Kitchen

Blackberry cobbler

Recently, we picked ourselves pints and pints of blackberries. Once we got them home and made a pie, we thought, Now what?

A cobbler, that's what. Easy, tart, and slightly sweet, a cobbler was the perfect second generation blackberry dessert. Served warm with whipped cream and sprig of mint, it makes an elegant last course. Or, you know, you can also eat it for breakfast alongside your Cornflakes.

Rating: Truly 1/2 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

2 cups blackberries

1 cup flour

1 cup plus one teaspoon sugar

1 egg

8 Tablespoons melted butter (or margarine)

1/2 cup milk

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Mix flour, sugar, milk, egg, and melted butter. Pour into a pretty dish. Top with blackberries and 1 teaspoon granulated sugar.

Bake 45 minutes to 1 hour, or until it turns golden and middle has firmed.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Homemade breadsticks

Who doesn't love a good, carby breadstick? They can be sprinkled with garlic and sea salt, rosemary and pepper, cinnamon and sugar or any other combination of toppings your little heart desires. They go with just about any meal or can be eaten alone as a snack. And they're simple! One thing we love about breadsticks is that they don't require two rises and a punch down. Just one 20 to 30 minute rise and then bake. Easy peasy.

They're also fun to make with kids. The kids can form the dough into all sorts of shapes. Like edible Playdoh.

Either way, these breadsticks are delectable. We highly recommend you make them immediately.

Rating: 1/2 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

1 cup warm water (not hot)

1 packet yeast

1 teaspoon sugar

3-1/2 cups flour

3 Tablespoons butter or margarine, room temperature

1 Tablespoon salt

Melted butter to brush over tops

Your choice of toppings

Mix warm water, sugar and yeast and let proof for 10 minutes (or until mixtures puffs up a little). Mix with flour, water, salt, and butter. If you have a mixer with a dough hook, knead with this for about 5 minutes. Otherwise, lay dough on hard, flat surface and knead by hand until dough is soft and elastic.

Tear off dough balls and shape into desired sticks, rings, or twists. Place on cookie sheets or pizza stone and let rise for 20 to 30 minutes. (We place dough in a 100-degree oven for rising.)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Brush with melted butter and sprinkle with toppings. Bake for 20 to 30 minutes, or until tops are just turning golden. Remove from oven, but eat as many warm ones as you can.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Dirty martini dip

When we first tried it, we couldn't get enough of this dip that is just as naughty as its name implies. Cream cheese, green olives, mayo, bacon, vodka, and scallions, while not a particularly healthy combination, sure is tasty.

This dip is easy and looks festive served in a martini glass with olives on the side. Give it a try for your next party or get-together and see if you come home with any left (we're betting you won't). Serve with fresh bread torn into bite-sized chunks. (Crackers and pretzels are good, too, but add more sodium to the already salty-ish dip).

Rating: 1/4 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

1 8-ounce package cream cheese (low fat works too)

1 Tablespoon mayo (again, can use low fat)

1/4 cup vodka or milk

3 pieces bacon crumbled (optional)

1/3 cup green olives, chopped

3-4 scallions, white and light green parts sliced

Mix all ingredients in medium-sized bowl. Chill until ready to serve.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Lemon cake with lemon buttercream frosting (vegan)

Let's just pretend we didn't say this was vegan. (Unless of course you shun all animal products, in which case, VEGAN!) This cake rocks. It's just the right amount of dense/moist, with a fantastic lemon undercurrent. And the icing? So lemony sweet it'll knock your ankle socks right off.

Our friend made this cake for her daughter's birthday a few weeks ago and everyone raved and drooled and scraped the last bits of cake and frosting up with their forks. You won't waste a crumb. This recipe was taken and adapted from Savvy Vegetarian.

We're talking cake from scratch, here. So, we're sorry to say, it's not Half Assed. But it's simple and delicious and not Full Assed by any stretch of the imagination.

Rating: 3/4 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

Cake:

2/3 cup vegan margarine

1 cup sugar

3-1/2 cups white flour

3-1/2 Tablespoons corn starch

2-1/2 teaspoons baking powder

1/2 teaspoons baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

1-1/2 cup almond, soy, or rice milk

1/2 cup lemon juice

Zest from one lemon

Frosting:

1 cup vegan margarine

1 pound powdered sugar

Zest from 2 lemons

3-4 Tablespoons fresh lemon juice

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter and flour a 9 x 12” pan or 2 9” round cake pans. Mix almond milk and lemon juice and set aside to curdle. Cream butter and sugar. Combine flour, cornstarch, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Add dry ingredients, almond milk mixture, and lemon zest to butter mixture. Mix all ingredients together until just blended.

Spread the batter evenly in the pan(s) and bake 35 to 45 minutes until slightly golden in color and firm in the center. The 9 x 12 pan will take longer to bake than the 9” rounds.

Remove from pans and cool on racks.

For Frosting:

Using a hand-held mixer cream together margarine, sugar, and zest until smooth. Sift the icing sugar into the mixture through a medium strainer. Gradually beat in lemon juice 1 Tablespoon at a time, stopping when the icing has reached the right consistency for spreading. Refrigerate in an air tight container until needed. Allow to soften before using.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Creamed corn

  
 

This isn't your usual, canned creamed corn. This creamed corn, brought to you by Real Simple, is buttery and peppery, with little bits of onion to jazz up the creaminess. It's a great way to use fresh corn you'll find everywhere from now until mid September, or an easy side dish to toss frozen kernels into. Is there such a thing as comfort vegetables?

Rating: Truly 1/2 assed if you use frozen corn, 3/4 assed with fresh corn

Here's what you need and how you do it

2 Tablespoons butter

1 small onion, chopped

4 cups fresh corn kernels (from 8 ears)

1 cup half-and-half (or soy creamer)

Salt and Pepper

1 Tablespoon flour if using frozen corn

Melt butter in a medium saucepan over medium-high heat. Add the onion and cook, until beginning to soften (stirring occasionally). Add corn, half-and-half, and salt and pepper to taste. Simmer until corn is tender and cream has slightly thickened.

If using frozen corn, add the flour to softened onions and cook for 1 minute before adding corn and half-and-half.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.