Half Assed Kitchen

Zucchini chocolate chip cookies

This recipe comes from an old Sunset and gives the impression of making halfway nutritious cookies (if you don't count all the butter and sugar--we prefer to focus on the zucchini).

They are cakey, moist and complex. They work equally well with egg or egg replacer and are a must try.

Here's what you need and how you do it

1 cup butter or margarine, room temperature

1-1/2 cups sugar

2 large eggs (or the equivalent egg replacer)

1 teaspoon vanilla

2 cups zucchini (unpeeled, shredded)

2-3/4 cups flour

2 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1 teaspoon salt

1 cup chocolate chips

1 cup walnuts (optional, chopped)

1/2 cup raisins (optional, we left them out)

1 cup sweetened, flaked coconut

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

In a large bowl, cream together butter and sugar. Beat in eggs (or egg replacer) and vanilla. Stir in zucchini.

In a separate bowl, mix flour, baking powder, cinnamon and salt. Add to zucchini mixture. Stir in nuts, chocolate chips, raisins and coconut.

Drop by spoonfuls onto greased cookie sheets. Bake until lightly browned, 8 to 12 minutes.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Strawberry shortcake

Summer means fresh, local strawberries and old fashioned strawberry shortcake. We made some this past weekend and it was gone by the end of Day One.

Here's what you need and how you do it

Biscuits:

2 cups all purpose flour

1 Tablespoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

3 Tablespoons sugar

1 stick butter or margarine, chilled

2/3 cup half and half, milk or soy creamer

Filling:

1 quart strawberries, washed and cut into halves or quarters

1/3 cup sugar

Topping:

1-1/2 cups whipping cream or non-dairy whipped topping

Preheat oven to 425 degrees.

In a bowl, sprinkle 1/3 cup sugar over berries and let sit.

In a separate bowl, combine flour, baking powder, salt and sugar. Slice butter into 8 pieces and, with a pastry blender, mix into dry ingredients until it resembles a coarse meal. Stir in milk or cream and work with your hands until just moistened. Turn the dough onto a floured surface and knead 2 or 3 times.

Pat the dough into a rectangle about 3/4-inch thick and, with a circular cookie cutter, cut out biscuits.

Transfer to buttered cookie sheets and bake for 10 to 12 minutes (do not overbake or you will have rocks).

Let biscuits cool some, then slice in half, top first layer with berries, replace top, Drizzle on more berries and finish with whipped cream.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Thin mints

We wish we could say that these are far and away better than the Keebler Grasshoppers you can buy at the grocery store. They're good...but they're a bit of effort. Not back-breaking effort, mind you. Just more work than we like to put into food.

Still, if you're up for a little mixing, chilling, baking and melting, you might skip the Grasshoppers and try these.

We went to the trouble (and are proud of what we got), so there was no way we weren't going to post our results.

The basic recipe came from Baking Bites, with a few modifications.

Here's what you need and how you do it

Cookie:

2-1/4 cups all purpose flour
1/4 cup cornstarch
6 Tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup butter or margarine, room temperature
1/2 cup milk
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
3/4 teaspoon peppermint extract

Chocolate coating:

10 ounces dark or semisweet chocolate
1/2 cup butter or margarine

1/4 teaspoon peppermint extract

In a small bowl, whisk together flour, cornstarch, cocoa powder and salt.

In a large bowl, cream together butter and sugar. With the mixer on low speed, add in the milk and extracts. 

Gradually, add in the flour mixture until fully incorporated. (You may have to knead by hand as the dough turns out fairly crumbly).

Shape dough into two logs, about 1-1/2 inches in diameter, wrap in plastic wrap and freeze for at least 1-2 hours, until dough is very firm.

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.

Slice dough into rounds about 1/8-inch thick and place on greased or parchment-lined baking sheet.

Bake for 12 to 13 minutes. Cool on wire rack.

In a sauce pan, mix chocolate, butter or margarine and peppermint extract until smooth. Dollop a spoonful of chocolate coating on top of each cookie and give them an hour (at least) to set up.

(Try them refrigerated too.)

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Chocolate chip graham cookies

We like to randomly make up chocolate chip cookie recipes. It's how we prefer to spend rainy afternoons. Sometimes our concoctions work. Sometimes not so much. But yesterday, we think we hit upon a winner.

These little guys are made with graham flour and oatmeal.

They're good, sweet and chewy.

Here's what you need and how you do it

1 cup butter or margarine

3/4 c. brown sugar

1 cup graham cracker crumbs

1 cup flour

1 cup oats

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking powder

3/4 cup milk

Dash vanilla (optional)

1 cup chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cream together sugar and butter. Add milk and vanilla. In a separate bowl, combine graham cracker crumbs, flour, oats, salt and baking powder. Mix with butter/sugar/vanilla mixture. Fold in chocolate chips.

Drop in dollops onto greased cookie sheets and bake for 10 to 12 minutes.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Buttercream frosting

This week comes but once a year, where we're baking our asses off for two kids' back-to-back birthdays.

We're thinking a lot about buttercream frosting. We're dreaming about it, to be honest.

And so we thought we'd post our fail-safe recipe for a good buttercream. It's simple and so much better than canned icing.

Here's what you need and how you do it

1-1/2 cups butter or margarine, room temperature

4-5 cups sifted powdered sugar

2 Tablespoons milk (can also substitute soy or rice milk)

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Cream together butter and sugar with a mixer. Then add milk–in small increments–and vanilla. 

You can play around with the proportions. For instance, when we use a pastry bag, we try to make our frosting extra-stiff. (Yes, we did just type that.) So we are liberal with our powdered sugar.

Beat until smooth and creamy.

If desired, add a few drops of food coloring and mix thoroughly.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Beignets

We know we're a day late and beignet short. Fat Tuesday was yesterday. But, really, you can make them anytime. They're easier than doughnuts and so, so good.

Beignets are traditionally fashioned into rectangles. We're lazy though, and shaping them with a round cookie cutter was easier than using a knife.

So, here you have our circular, yeast-free, knead-free, egg-free beignets. Inspired by the cookbook Bakin' Without Eggs. And you won't miss the squareness, yeast, kneading or eggs. At all. Golden on the outside and soft on the inside with a dash of cinnamon and tiny tang of lemon.

Here's what you need and how you do it

2 cups all-purpose flour (+ maybe a little more to get correct consistency)

1/3 cup sugar

3-1/2 Tablespoons baking powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

1-1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon nutmeg

3/4 cup milk (or soy or rice milk)

1-1/2 Tablespoons fresh lemon juice

2 Tablespoons vegetable oil + a crapload more for frying

Powdered sugar

Start your oil early as it takes a long time to heat. Pour about 3 inches into large pan and, if you have one, use a candy thermometer to get the oil up to 375 degrees. If not, heat oil for a while on medium-high heat. Test temperature by dropping in a piece of cubed bread. When it browns in 50 seconds, oil is ready for frying.

Mix all other ingredients except the powdered sugar.

Roll onto floured surface and cut into desired shapes. You can also just make these into balls and fry that way, but we prefer the slightly more refined look of the cut-outs.

When oil is hot enough, drop dough in, about three at a time. Turn with a slotted spoon, frying for about three minutes.

When beignets are golden, remove from oil and set on paper towels to drain.

Dust with powdered sugar and serve.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Magic cookie bars

We've all had these. We all love these. They're also known as 7-layer bars. Though ours are only 5 layers. Because we're too lazy to throw on the sixth and seventh and because we can't do the butterscotch chips and walnuts. But you know what? We don't miss them at all.

If you want a rich, fantastic, crowd-pleasin' dessert that takes less than 10 minutes to make, look no further.

Here's what you need and how you do it

1/2 cup butter or margarine, melted

1-1/2 cups graham cracker crumbs

1 cup chocolate chips

1-1/2 cups coconut

1 can Eagle Sweetened Condensed Milk or, for a dairy-free version, use 8 ounces of brown rice syrup

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Pour butter into 8x8 or 9x9 baking pan. Sprinkle graham cracker crumbs over the top. Scatter chocolate chips over those and then layer on coconut. Drizzle sweetened condensed milk (or brown rice syrup) over the whole shebang.

Bake for 25 minutes. Let cool before cutting and serving.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Chocolate pudding

Creamy, chocolatey and delicious. It's hard to go wrong with this recipe when you're in the mood for a homemade dessert.

Our family has been cooking this particular chocolate pudding for decades. And it's always yummy.

Here's what you need and how you do it

2-1/2 Tablespoons cocoa powder

3 Tablespoons corn starch

1/2 cup sugar

2-1/2 cups milk

Generous dash of vanilla

Blend dry ingredients in sauce pan. Whisk in milk and turn heat on medium-high. Bring to a boil. Boil for 2 minutes, stirring constantly. Stir in vanilla at the end.

Pour into a large serving bowl or smaller individual dishes.

Serve warm or chilled with whipped cream.

For a printer-friendly version, click here.

Chocolate chocolate-chip cookies

Forget the year of the Ox, it's the month of the home-baked cookie. Didn't you know? How else do we explain TWO cookie recipes in a row?

Since our son was diagnosed with a severe egg allergy and we've had to learn to bake egg-free, we've come to PREFER cookies without eggs. When eggs are used, we can actually detect a hint of gameyness. And we'd rather just taste the sugar, butter and cocoa, thanks anyway.

So, this is an eggless chocolate cookie recipe whose original can be found in the cookbook What's to Eat? (Which has been a godsend for our egg-free baking adventures. Even though we'd like to redesign the heck out of that cover.)

If you don't care about egg-free cookies, these are still fabulously good. They're certainly not missing a thing. They can go moist or crisp, depending on how long you bake them. And did we mention chocolately? Yeah. You can never have too much chocolate.

Here's what you need and how you do it

1 cup butter or margarine, room temperature

1-1/2 cups sugar

1 cup packed brown sugar

2 cups flour

3 Tablespoons vegetable oil, 3 Tablespoons water and 2 teaspoons baking powder, mixed together

2 teaspoons vanilla extract (or just do what we do and add a big glug)

1 cup cocoa powder

2 teaspoons baking powder

1/4 cup milk or soy milk

1/2 to 1 cup chocolate chips (we used semi-sweet)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Cream together butter, sugar and brown sugar. Add rest of ingredients and mix well.

Drop by spoonfuls onto cookie sheet and bake for 8 to 10 minutes.

Do not over bake or these will become excessively crispy.

For a printer-friendly version of this recipe, click here.

Penuche oatmeal no bake cookies

Now what kind of a half-assed cooking blog would we be if we didn't include a recipe for no-bake cookies? Not only are they fantastically delicious, but they're super simple. 

As children, we generally made and ate the chocolate variety (which we appetizingly called Cow Patties. Mmmm.) This is a penuche recipe.  It's rich, so the cookies can, and probably should, be small. And they take all of 10 minutes to make.

We followed instructions from About's Southern Food page and they worked very nicely.

Here's what you need and how you do it

2 cups brown sugar

1/2 cup butter or margarine

1/2 cup milk (or soy milk)

3 cups quick-cooking oats

1 teaspoon vanilla

3/4 cups chopped nuts (optional)

In a saucepan, heat sugar, butter and milk to boiling. Boil for a minute or two, then add oats, vanilla and chopped nuts (if desired).

Drop in small spoonfuls onto waxed paper. Let cool before eating.

For the chocolate version of these cookies, use 2 cups of white sugar instead of brown and add 1/2 cup of cocoa.

For a printer-friendly version, click here.