Half Assed Kitchen

Fudge

  
 

Who doesn't love to indulge in a thick wedge of fudge every day here and there? The holiday season is typically Fudge Season, but we love it year round. Possibly because we hail from the Land of Fudge--a touristy Northern Michigan town with a fudge shop on every corner. So prevalent was the fudge there that we called visitors Fudgies.

Anyway, it's in our blood. With a candy thermometer, it's also really easy to make. We like our fudge smooth and creamy--the more decadent the better.

Rating: Truly 1/2 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

3 cups sugar (granulated will give you a grainy-ish texture, powdered sugar will make smoother fudge)

4 ounces unsweetened chocolate

4 Tablespoons butter

1 cup half-and-half or milk

1 Tablespoon vanilla

1 Tablespoon corn syrup

1 cup chopped nuts (optional)

or, for peppermint fudge...

1 teaspoon peppermint extract

In a medium saucepan, heat all ingredients to boiling. Let boil three minutes, then clip on candy thermometer and simmer until fudge reaches 234 degrees (soft ball stage). Pour into greased 8x8 pan and let cool. You can stash pan in the fridge to set the fudge more quickly.

Also, we like to double this recipe for extra thick fudge, but be warned, extra thick fudge takes several hours to set.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

No-roll pie crust

 

Yes, we know we're a little late to the pie party, seeing as how Thanksgiving was yesterday. But people still bake pies year-round, right? There's the lemon meringue and the coconut cream and the key lime. None of them holiday-ish, per se.

So here's a version of a pie crust that requires no roll-out. Which is perfect for us because rolling pins give us hives. We hate making pie crust from scratch and will usually buy it pre-made from the store. But this crust...this crust is perfect. Not a beauty queen, for sure, but easy. And delicious.

Rating: 1/4 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it:

1-1/2 cups flour

1/2 teaspoon salt

2 Tablespoons milk

1-1/2 teaspoons sugar

1/2 cup canola or vegetable oil

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Mix ingredients right in the pie plate. Press into place with your fingertips. Prick bottom with fork. Bake for ten minutes. Remove from oven, fill and bake until pie filling is firm.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Texas sheet cake

 
Hoo-doggie. This is a good one. Texas sheet cake that is as big as Dallas (except smaller than it could've been because we didn't have a jelly roll pan). Rich chocolate cake smothered in richer chocolate frosting. Texas sheet cake is always a crowd-pleaser. And it definitely makes enough to feed a crowd.

Our recipe is adapted (barely) from an old Cooking Light. Which makes it, perhaps, not as dense and insanely decadent as it could be, but keeps the fat to reasonable levels. And it still tastes fantastically good.

Rating: Truly 1/2 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

2 cups flour

2 cups sugar

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon salt

3/4 cup water

1/2 cup butter

1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

1/2 cup buttermilk (or regular milk)

1 teaspoon vanilla

2 large eggs

Icing:

6 Tablespoons butter

1/3 cup milk

1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa

3 cups powdered sugar

2 teaspoons vanilla

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Grease a jelly-roll pan or 13-x9 inch baking pan. Combine 2 cups flour, sugar, baking soda, cinnamon and salt in a large bowl.

Combine water, 1/2 cup butter and 1/4 cup cocoa powder in a small saucepan. Bring to a boil, stirring frequently. Remove from heat; pour into flour mixture. Beat with a mixer at medium speed until well blended. Add milk, vanilla and eggs. Beat well.

Pour batter into cake pan. If using a jelly roll pan, bake for approximately 17 minutes. If using a 13x9 inch pan, bake for 22 to 23 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.

Prepare icing by combining butter, milk and cocoa in same saucepan you used for melting the cake chocolate. Bring to a boil, stirring constantly. Remove from heat and pour in powdered sugar and vanilla. Spread over cooled cake.

Would also be amazing with the slightly more complicated but even more chocolatey Fudge Frosting.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Molasses cookies

We are thrilled to present our favorite cookie recipe on the face of the earth. It is our mother's recipe and before that, her mother's recipe. Which probably means it's from an old Betty Crocker cookbook, but we don't know for sure, so we're going to pretend it's very exclusive and very family.

As part of our Half Assed family, we're giving it to you. These melty little pieces of heaven cookies are chewy and rich and meant to be eaten five at a time. At least that's how we do it.

One caveat: Do not over bake these guys. Not unless you prefer molasses snaps.

Rating: Truly 1/2 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

2 cups brown sugar, packed

1 cup vegetable shortening

2 eggs

1/2 cup molasses

4-1/2 cups flour

4 teaspoons baking soda

2 teaspoons cinnamon

2 teaspoons ginger

1 teaspoon cloves (optional)

1/2 teaspoon salt

Granulated sugar

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Cream the brown sugar, shortening, eggs and molasses. Blend in remaining ingredients.

Spoon cookie dough into round balls and dip into granulated sugar. Place on lightly greased baking sheet. Bake for 8 to 10 minutes (tops!). Immediately remove from cookie sheet.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Pumpkin bread

One of our favorite things about fall is pumpkin everything. Doughnuts, muffins, cookies, soup and, of course, quick pumpkin bread. Pumpkin bread is easy and rich and we've been eating it for breakfast, snacks and everything in between.

We started with a classic pumpkin bread recipe, then added a few of our own ingredients to spice it up.

Rating: Truly 1/2 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

3-1/2 cups flour

1-1/2 cups sugar

1 cup brown sugar

1-1/2 cup pumpkin purée

2 eggs

1/8 cup molasses (optional)

1/4 cup milk

1/2 cup vegetable oil

1/2 cup applesauce (or another 1/2 cup vegetable oil)

1-1/2 teaspoons salt

2 teaspoons baking soda

2 teaspoons cinnamon

1 teaspoon ground ginger

1 teaspoon ground nutmeg

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease two 9x5x3 inch loaf pans. Mix dry ingredients in one bowl, wet ingredients in another. Then combine.

Bake for 45 minutes to one hour, or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Chocolate panna cotta

Up until this week, we'd never made panna cotta before. And now, well, we're not exactly panna cotta experts, but we know a thing or two about this dessert.

It's considered easy to make. Nothing more than heating cream and sugar and adding gelatin. 

Maybe it's just that we tried to make ours lower fat or because we added chocolate, but, while our panna cotta wasn't difficult, it wasn't a complete snap either.

There were a few bowls dirtied, a strainer involved and more than a couple steps to making this rich little concoction. Still, we think it was worth it and no harder than baking cake or pie.

We modified this recipe from one we found in Sunset. It's sweet, sophisticatedly tangy and, as we mentioned before, insanely rich.

Rating: 3/4 assed (maybe a little less, but we can't, in good conscience, give this a half assed rating either).

Here's what you need and how you do it

4 teaspoons gelatin (we used Knox)

2 cups milk or half-and-half, divided (traditionally heavy cream is used, you can go this route if you so desire)

3/4 cup sugar

6 ounces semi-sweet chocolate

1 cup plain Greek yogurt

1 teaspoon vanilla

Chocolate shavings (optional)

In a small bowl or measuring cup, sprinkle gelatin over 1/2 cup milk. Let sit about 10 minutes until softened.

In a saucepan, mix remaining milk, sugar and chocolate and heat, stirring often, until it starts steaming. Pour in milk and gelatin and whisk to dissolve gelatin.

Mix yogurt and vanilla in a large bowl (that's three big dishes to wash already. I know!!). Pour chocolate mixture through a fine strainer into yogurt and vanilla and stir.

Lightly oil a muffin tin and divide chocolate/yogurt mixture evenly. Chill for at least 2 hours. Top with chocolate shavings (if desired) and serve.

If you don't have time to chill thoroughly, serve in wine glasses or other decorative bowl and they'll still be pretty and tasty.

Serves about 8.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Peach blueberry pie

This is a classic end-of-season fruit pie. We made it after our friend and mentor, Heather, gave us a bag full of peaches and we needed some delicious way to use them. We love pie. It's so easy and so...homey.

Rating: Truly 1/2 assed (simple, but not ridiculously so)

Here's what you need and how you do it

7-8 ripe but firm peaches

3/4 cup sugar

1-1/2 Tablespoons fresh lemon juice

1/4 cup all-purpose flour

1 cup blueberries

1 Tablespoon milk

1 teaspoon granulated sugar

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Fill saucepan with water, add peaches and bring to boil for a minute or two. Run under cold water to cool peaches. Skin should peel off easily. Slice peaches and mix with sugar, lemon juice, flour and blueberries.

Pour filling into pre-made pie crust. Cover with top layer of crust. Brush with milk and dust with granulated sugar.

Bake for 30 to 40 minutes, or until top starts turning golden (you can cover the edges with foil if they start browning too much).

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Clafoutis

A fancy name for a simple, little dessert. Clafoutis is a French twist on custard with berries. It's amazingly easy to pull together and makes an elegant finish to your meal. It's also versatile. You can bake clafoutis with frozen fruit all year round.

It's creamy and rich without being too creamy and rich. Smooth eggs combined with tart berries roll satisfyingly over your tongue.

Give this one a whirl and serve with whipped cream or vanilla ice cream.

Rating: Truly 1/2-hassed (simple, but not ridiculously so)

Here's what you need and how you do it

1-1/2 cups milk

1/2 cup butter (or margarine), room temperature

4 eggs

2/3 cup flour

2/3 cup sugar

2 teaspoons vanilla

2 teaspoons almond extract

Dash salt

4 cups berries, fresh or frozen (traditionally cherries are used, but we made ours with a mixture of raspberries and blueberries)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

In a blender, mix the milk, butter, eggs, flour, sugar, vanilla, almond extract and salt.

Dump berries into a baking dish and top with the milk-butter-egg mixture.

Bake for 60 to 75 minutes, checking often toward the end. The top should turn slightly golden and the inside should be soft without being too liquidy.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Chocolate chip oatmeal pie

We don't know what we were thinking, but yesterday morning, in the midst of packing for a trip to Brooklyn, we decided it was crucial that we make a pie. Not to take with us as an offering to our hosts. But to eat NOW. To scarf down over the kitchen sink if necessary.

We based our recipe on The Baking Badger's Fudgy Oatmeal bars over at Tasty Kitchen. In fact, we pretty much copied it and made a couple additions.

This pie is meant to be served slightly warm with vanilla ice cream. It really is best that way. But, in a pinch, it also makes a great breakfast. Don't tell anyone we said that.

Rating: Truly 1/2 hassed (Simple, but not ridiculously so.)

Here's what you need and how you do it

3/4 cup butter or margarine, at room temperature

1 cup brown sugar

1 dash salt

1-1/2 cups flour

1-1/4 cups oatmeal

1 Tablespoon cinnamon

2 cups chocolate chips/chunks

1 can sweetened, condensed milk (alternatively, you can use 3/4 cup soy or rice milk whisked with 1/2 cup brown rice syrup--you may have to bake a little longer if you do this dairy-free version)

2 Tablespoons vanilla

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Combine butter, sugar, salt, flour, oatmeal and cinnamon with a mixer or hand pastry blender (it will be very crumbly). Press 1/3 of this mixture into greased pie plate.

Bake for 10 to 15 minutes to form a crust.

In the meantime, mix 1 cup chocolate chips with the sweetened condensed milk and vanilla.

When the crust has finished baking, pour the chocolate/milk blend into the pie crust. Top with remaining oatmeal/flour mixture and remaining chocolate chips.

Bake for 15 to 20 minutes. Do not over bake.

Serve warm with vanilla ice cream.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Zucchini chocolate chip cookies

This recipe comes from an old Sunset and gives the impression of making halfway nutritious cookies (if you don't count all the butter and sugar--we prefer to focus on the zucchini).

They are cakey, moist and complex. They work equally well with egg or egg replacer and are a must try.

Rating: Truly 1/2 assed (Simple, but not ridiculously so...there is a little shredding, though Zucchini shreds very easily.)

Here's what you need and how you do it

1 cup butter or margarine, room temperature

1-1/2 cups sugar

2 large eggs (or the equivalent egg replacer)

1 teaspoon vanilla

2 cups zucchini (unpeeled, shredded)

2-3/4 cups flour

2 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1 teaspoon salt

1 cup chocolate chips

1 cup walnuts (optional, chopped)

1/2 cup raisins (optional, we left them out)

1 cup sweetened, flaked coconut

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

In a large bowl, cream together butter and sugar. Beat in eggs (or egg replacer) and vanilla. Stir in zucchini.

In a separate bowl, mix flour, baking powder, cinnamon and salt. Add to zucchini mixture. Stir in nuts, chocolate chips, raisins and coconut.

Drop by spoonfuls onto greased cookie sheets. Bake until lightly browned, 8 to 12 minutes.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.