Half Assed Kitchen

Divvies' Chocolate Chip Cookies

We love Divvies. We love Divvies because our son has severe food allergies and, for quite a while, Divvies was one of our only options for non-homemade cookies. And a delicious option it's been. Recently, Lori Sandler, the mom behind Divvies, released The Divvies Bakery Cookbook, published by St. Martin's Press. Inside, you'll find amazing recipes for things like cupcakes, fudge, and candy, as well as delicious ideas for quick treats and snacks.

If it sounds like we're trying to sell this cookbook, we are! We love it. In fact, our initial plan was to give away our one and only copy to a Half Assed Kitchen reader, but we've decided we can't part with it. So, if you want it, you'll have to buy your own.

To tide you over, though, we're posting the recipe for Benjamin's Chocolate Chip Cookies. The recipe that started the Sandlers down the path of founding Divvies.

Update: Lori Sandler has generously offered to give away one copy of The Divvies Bakery Cookbook to a lucky Half Assed Kitchen reader. All you have to do is head over to Divvies' contact page, enter your info (if you don't mind doing that) and mention Half Assed Kitchen in the Message field. Good luck!

  
 

Rating: 3/4 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

2 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

1-1/2 teaspoons Ener-G Egg Replacer

2 Tablespoons water

1 cup dairy-free margarine

3/4 cup granulated sugar

3/4 cup packed, dark brown sugar (we used light brown)

1/4 cup silken tofu, pureéd

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

2 cups Divvies Semisweet Chocolate Chips (you can use any chocolate chips you find that are safe, we do Trader Joes Semi-Sweets)

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. LIne three cookie sheets with parchment paper.

In a large bowl, whisk together flour, baking soda, and salt. Set aside.

In a small bowl, whisk the egg replacer with the water until well dissolved. Set aside.

In a mixing bowl, beat margarine and sugars with an electric mixer on high speed until just fluffy. Be sure to scrape down the sides of the bowl with a spatula and continue to mix.

Add the pureéd tofu, egg replacer, and vanilla to the mixing bowl. Mix until well combined, scraping down the sides of the mixing bowl.

Add the flour mixture to the wet ingredients and mix until well incorporated. Fold in 1-3/4 cups of the chocolate chips by hand, and be certain not to over-mix the dough.

Scoop the cookie dough with a #24 ice cream scooper, and place the scoops 2 inches apart on the parchment paper-lined cookie sheets. Flatten each scoop slightly with your hand.

Bake the cookies in a preheated oven for 18-20 minutes, rotating the cookie sheets halfway through the baking time, until the edges begin to turn golden.

After the cookies have been baking for about 5 minutes, distribute the remaining 1/4 cup of chocolate chips among the cookies, placing a few on top of each.

Cool the cookies directly on the baking sheets.

Makes two dozen 3-inch cookies.

Half Assed corners we cut: Mix the dry and wet ingredients in one big bowl. Forget the ice cream scooper and use a regular spoon. Mix all the chocolate chips in at once. Also, we only baked ours for 8 to 12 minutes. We have kind of a crap oven, but if we would've gone to 18-20 we would've had charcoal briquets on our hands.

Sandler also notes that you can mix the cookie dough in with dairy-free ice cream for a chocolate chip cookie dough treat. We love this idea!

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Applesauce Cake with maple buttercream frosting

This recipe, taken from the Betty Crocker cookbook (we know, SO old school) is a one-bowl delight. Simple and moist. We're in love. And maple buttercream frosting adds the perfect rich note.

Rating: 3/4 assed (Maybe 1/2 assed if you omit the chopped nuts)

Here's what you need and how you do it

2-1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1-1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce

1-1/4 cups sugar

1/2 cup butter or margarine

1/2 cup water

1-1/2 teaspoons baking soda

1-1/2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice (or 1/2 teaspoon each of cinnamon, ginger, and nutmeg)

1 teaspoon salt

3/4 teaspoon baking powder

2 large eggs

1 cup raisins (optional)

2/3 cup chopped nuts (optional)

Maple buttercream frosting

3 cups powdered sugar

1/3 cup butter or margarine, softened

1/2 cup maple syrup

May also stir 1/4 cup finely chopped nuts into frosting.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease bottoms and sides of a 13x9 inch pan or two round pans. Beat all ingredients except raisins and nuts in a large bowl for three minutes. Stir in raisins and nuts.

Bake 30 to 35 minutes, or until toothpick inserted in center of cake comes out clean.

Mix all frosting ingredients until smooth. Spread onto cake.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here. 

Lemon cake mix cookies

 

Who likes cake? Who likes cookies? Who likes a super easy recipe that combines both cake and cookies? Yeah, same here. That's why, when we saw this ingenious pairing of the two, plus eggs and butter, we had to try it.

We're so glad we did. These soft cookies are fabulous and fresh. Anyone you make them for will moan their thanks (or curse you, depending on how weight-conscious your friends are).

Rating: 1/4 assed (absurdly easy)

Here's what you need and how you do it

1 box lemon cake mix

2 eggs

1/2 cup butter or margarine, room temperature

1 cup powdered sugar

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line cookie sheets with parchment paper or lightly grease. Combine cake mix, eggs and butter in a large bowl. Stash in refrigerator for a half hour (otherwise dough will be too sticky to work with.)

Roll dough into walnut-sized balls and dredge through powdered sugar. Place on cookie sheet and bake 10 to 12 minutes.

Try other cake mix flavors too!

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

 

Peanut butter chocolate bars

    
 

Oh jeez, oh gosh, oh crap. We apologize in advance for giving you this recipe. 

On the other hand, there's a good chance you already own a version of it. In which case, we apologize for reminding you these peanut butter chocolate bars exist. Because they are so good and so addictive you will eat the whole pan in one day and wonder why your jeans don't fit the next.

We didn't actually use peanut butter, because our son is highly allergic to it. Instead, we incorporated Sunflower Seed butter, which is fabulous in its own right. If you can, go ahead and use the real PB. Either way, these bars are rich, creamy, crunchy and heavenly.

We're sorry.

Rating: Truly 1/2 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

1 cup (2 sticks) butter or margarine, divided

2 cups graham cracker crumbs

2 cups powdered sugar

2 cups peanut butter, Sunbutter or some other nut/seed butter

2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips

In a saucepan, heat 1 stick (or 1/2 cup of butter) over medium heat. When melted, add graham cracker crumbs, powdered sugar and peanut butter. Stir until well mixed and remove from heat.

Spread evenly into greased 8x8 or 9x9 pan.

In another pot or in microwave, melt chocolate chips and remaining stick of butter. Whisk together until smooth icing is formed. Spread over peanut butter layer. Refrigerate for an hour before serving. Then cut into squares.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Oatmeal cookies

  
 
Warm oatmeal cookies with raisins, chocolate chips or nuts. Or maybe all three! This is what we call heaven. We tried Smitten Kitchen's recipe, but, though we love her blog, we weren't thrilled with the results. They came out too salty and crispy. Which could be attributed to the fact that we didn't refrigerate the dough as she suggested. We dunno.

But we loved the version we found (and modified slightly) on All Recipes. The cookies came out thick and chewy and extremely tasty.

Another great thing about these cookies? You can feed them to your kids for breakfast. We sometimes do. They're no worse than bowls of oatmeal dotted with chocolate chips or brown sugar. Well, okay, with the butter they may be a little worse. But there are eggs too! Protein!

So, bake these. Enjoy these. You won't regret inviting them into your lives. We promise.

Rating: Truly 1/2 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

1 cup butter or margarine, softened

1 cup white sugar

1 cup packed brown sugar

2 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

2 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

1-1/2 teaspoons cinnamon

3 cups oats

1 cup chocolate chips or raisins or nuts (or enough of each to equal one cup) (optional)

In a medium bowl, cream together butter or margarine, white sugar and brown sugar. Beat in eggs and vanilla. In a separate bowl, combine flour, baking soda, salt and cinnamon. Stir into the creamed mixture. Mix in oats. Fold in chocolate chips, raisins or nuts. (Here you can cover and chill dough for one hour, but we skipped this step.)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Grease cookie sheets. Scoop the dough into small balls and place two inches apart on cookie sheets.

Bake for 8 to 10 minutes. Allow cookies to cool on baking sheet for five minutes before transferring to wire rack to cool completely.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Fudge

  
 

Who doesn't love to indulge in a thick wedge of fudge every day here and there? The holiday season is typically Fudge Season, but we love it year round. Possibly because we hail from the Land of Fudge--a touristy Northern Michigan town with a fudge shop on every corner. So prevalent was the fudge there that we called visitors Fudgies.

Anyway, it's in our blood. With a candy thermometer, it's also really easy to make. We like our fudge smooth and creamy--the more decadent the better.

Rating: Truly 1/2 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

3 cups sugar (granulated will give you a grainy-ish texture, powdered sugar will make smoother fudge)

4 ounces unsweetened chocolate

4 Tablespoons butter

1 cup half-and-half or milk

1 Tablespoon vanilla

1 Tablespoon corn syrup

1 cup chopped nuts (optional)

or, for peppermint fudge...

1 teaspoon peppermint extract

In a medium saucepan, heat all ingredients to boiling. Let boil three minutes, then clip on candy thermometer and simmer until fudge reaches 234 degrees (soft ball stage). Pour into greased 8x8 pan and let cool. You can stash pan in the fridge to set the fudge more quickly.

Also, we like to double this recipe for extra thick fudge, but be warned, extra thick fudge takes several hours to set.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

No-roll pie crust

 

Yes, we know we're a little late to the pie party, seeing as how Thanksgiving was yesterday. But people still bake pies year-round, right? There's the lemon meringue and the coconut cream and the key lime. None of them holiday-ish, per se.

So here's a version of a pie crust that requires no roll-out. Which is perfect for us because rolling pins give us hives. We hate making pie crust from scratch and will usually buy it pre-made from the store. But this crust...this crust is perfect. Not a beauty queen, for sure, but easy. And delicious.

Rating: 1/4 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it:

1-1/2 cups flour

1/2 teaspoon salt

2 Tablespoons milk

1-1/2 teaspoons sugar

1/2 cup canola or vegetable oil

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Mix ingredients right in the pie plate. Press into place with your fingertips. Prick bottom with fork. Bake for ten minutes. Remove from oven, fill and bake until pie filling is firm.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Texas sheet cake

 
Hoo-doggie. This is a good one. Texas sheet cake that is as big as Dallas (except smaller than it could've been because we didn't have a jelly roll pan). Rich chocolate cake smothered in richer chocolate frosting. Texas sheet cake is always a crowd-pleaser. And it definitely makes enough to feed a crowd.

Our recipe is adapted (barely) from an old Cooking Light. Which makes it, perhaps, not as dense and insanely decadent as it could be, but keeps the fat to reasonable levels. And it still tastes fantastically good.

Rating: Truly 1/2 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

2 cups flour

2 cups sugar

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon salt

3/4 cup water

1/2 cup butter

1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

1/2 cup buttermilk (or regular milk)

1 teaspoon vanilla

2 large eggs

Icing:

6 Tablespoons butter

1/3 cup milk

1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa

3 cups powdered sugar

2 teaspoons vanilla

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Grease a jelly-roll pan or 13-x9 inch baking pan. Combine 2 cups flour, sugar, baking soda, cinnamon and salt in a large bowl.

Combine water, 1/2 cup butter and 1/4 cup cocoa powder in a small saucepan. Bring to a boil, stirring frequently. Remove from heat; pour into flour mixture. Beat with a mixer at medium speed until well blended. Add milk, vanilla and eggs. Beat well.

Pour batter into cake pan. If using a jelly roll pan, bake for approximately 17 minutes. If using a 13x9 inch pan, bake for 22 to 23 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.

Prepare icing by combining butter, milk and cocoa in same saucepan you used for melting the cake chocolate. Bring to a boil, stirring constantly. Remove from heat and pour in powdered sugar and vanilla. Spread over cooled cake.

Would also be amazing with the slightly more complicated but even more chocolatey Fudge Frosting.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Molasses cookies

We are thrilled to present our favorite cookie recipe on the face of the earth. It is our mother's recipe and before that, her mother's recipe. Which probably means it's from an old Betty Crocker cookbook, but we don't know for sure, so we're going to pretend it's very exclusive and very family.

As part of our Half Assed family, we're giving it to you. These melty little pieces of heaven cookies are chewy and rich and meant to be eaten five at a time. At least that's how we do it.

One caveat: Do not over bake these guys. Not unless you prefer molasses snaps.

Rating: Truly 1/2 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

2 cups brown sugar, packed

1 cup vegetable shortening

2 eggs

1/2 cup molasses

4-1/2 cups flour

4 teaspoons baking soda

2 teaspoons cinnamon

2 teaspoons ginger

1 teaspoon cloves (optional)

1/2 teaspoon salt

Granulated sugar

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Cream the brown sugar, shortening, eggs and molasses. Blend in remaining ingredients.

Spoon cookie dough into round balls and dip into granulated sugar. Place on lightly greased baking sheet. Bake for 8 to 10 minutes (tops!). Immediately remove from cookie sheet.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Pumpkin bread

 

One of our favorite things about fall is pumpkin everything. Doughnuts, muffins, cookies, soup and, of course, quick pumpkin bread. Pumpkin bread is easy and rich and we've been eating it for breakfast, snacks and everything in between.

We started with a classic pumpkin bread recipe, then added a few of our own ingredients to spice it up.

Rating: Truly 1/2 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

3-1/2 cups flour

1-1/2 cups sugar

1 cup brown sugar

1-1/2 cup pumpkin purée

2 eggs

1/8 cup molasses (optional)

1/4 cup milk

1/2 cup vegetable oil

1/2 cup applesauce (or another 1/2 cup vegetable oil)

1-1/2 teaspoons salt

2 teaspoons baking soda

2 teaspoons cinnamon

1 teaspoon ground ginger

1 teaspoon ground nutmeg

2 cups chocolate chips (optional)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease two 9x5x3 inch loaf pans. Mix dry ingredients in one bowl, wet ingredients in another. Then combine. Fold in chocolate chips.

Bake for 45 minutes to one hour, or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.