Half Assed Kitchen

Tropical fruit smoothie

Please forgive us the very un-autumnal recipe. We know we should be posting up apple crisps and pumpkin doughnuts (mmm). But we've just gotten home from Hawaii. And the bad thing about Hawaii, is that you must eventually leave it.

So we're back in Seattle whipping up things like pineapple upside down cakes, coconut haupia, and fruit smoothies, wishing we were still sitting under palm trees and body boarding in the Pacific.

If you're craving a little bit of the tropics, get thee to a blender and throw together one of these smoothies. It'll transport you right to a white sand beach where the warm breeze carries the distant strum of a ukulele.

Effort required: 1/4 assed (as all Island food should be)

Here's what you need and how you do it

1 cup frozen pineapple (you can usually find this in the freezer section of your grocery store)

1/2 cup frozen mango or papaya (same with the grocery store freezer section)

1 banana

1 cup vanilla yogurt (soy works well if you can't have milk)

1 cup orange juice (adjust amount depending on how thick you like your smoothies)

Handful of ice

You can also throw in a handful of strawberries if you have them. We think it tastes more tropical without the berries.

Blend all ingredients. Pour into a tall glass and enjoy!

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Irish coffee

Irish coffee is such a cocktail basic, such a standard after dinner treat, and yet we'd never, ever made one before this. It's not at all hard, and the ingredients are probably in your pantry or fridge. The whipping cream, unless you're the decadent sort who keeps some on hand, might require a run to the store. But it's worth it.

Sit down with one of these after a long day of work...mmm.

Effort: 1/2 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

(Makes 2 coffees)

2 6-ounce cups of strongly brewed coffee

3 ounces Irish Whiskey (we used Canadian, shh)

2 teaspoons brown sugar

1/2 cup heavy cream, lightly whipped (no peaks)

Mix brown sugar and whiskey in bottom of glass. If you want to be really authentic, use a footed glass with a short stem.

Pour in coffee.

Top with lightly whipped cream, being careful not to let the cream mix with the coffee.

Many recipes call for cream that has not been whipped, but just poured over the back of a spoon where it theoretically rests on top of the coffee. Didn't work for us, though. Whipped is almost foul-proof.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Cocktail: Poinsettia

This is our new favorite cocktail for the holiday season. Three ingredients and you're good to go with this light, refreshing, and festive drink.

Rating: 1/4 assed

Here's what you need and how to do it

Sparkling White Wine

Grand Marnier

Cranberry Juice

Mix one part Grand Marnier with one part cranberry juice and four parts sparkling white wine.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Simple syrup

It seems almost silly to write a post about simple syrup. Simple syrup is so easy, so basic to cold, sweetened drinks, that a whole entry devoted to sugar water could be construed as ridiculous. 

The other day, though, we were in a coffee shop and we saw simple syrup for sale. And we thought, Pshaw! A person can make simple syrup in five minutes for about five cents.

The science behind simple syrup is this: in hot beverages like coffee and tea, sugar granules dissolve quickly thanks to the heat. In cold beverages, however, like lemonade, iced tea, and a plethora of cocktails, the sugar doesn't quite dissolve, settling at the bottom in a gritty film. Either that or you have to stir until your arm falls off.

So, since summer is not technically over yet and there are still cold drinks to be had, we're going to tell you how we make simple syrup.

Rating: 1/8 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

2 cups granulated sugar

2 cups water

Mix in a sauce pan. Stirring almost constantly, bring to a boil. The longer you boil your syrup, the thicker it will become. Turn off heat and let cool. Once cooled, pour into a cute bottle or jar. We used an old Trader Joes' olive oil bottle that we cleaned and from which we soaked the labels.

Store in refrigerator.

Here are just a few ways to use your simple syrup:

Strawberry Mojito from White on Rice Couple

Perfect Lemonade from Simply Recipes

Laughter in the Rain from Martha Stewart (A cocktail we particularly need here in Seattle.)

Fruit smoothies

It's been so hot here in Seattle, there's nothing much to do but sit in the shade and sip fruit smoothies.

This is one of our favorite recipes. A combination that we make weekly and try to get our kids to guzzle. It's full of good stuff like fruit and yogurt, and it's high notes are infinitely refreshing.

Rating: 1/4 assed (completely simple)

Here's what you need and how you do it

2 cups frozen berries (we like blueberries and/or mixed berries)

1 cup orange juice

1 cup yogurt, plain or a fruity flavor

1 banana

Optional additions:

1 scoop protein powder

1 Tablespoon flax seeds (which is healthy, but makes the smoothie decidedly less...smooth)

Dump it all into a blender and mix well. Makes 3 to 4 six-ounce servings.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Refreshing iced tea

To celebrate this past weekend, during which the temps reached an almost unheard of 85 degrees (in May! in Seattle), we're posting our favorite green tea. Which also happens to make the most amazing iced tea.

Dump about 9 of these tea bags into a half-gallon of water (use a glass container), plunk it out in the sun for the afternoon and, voila, you have the most refreshing iced tea with some lemony, fruity (but not overpowering) undertones.

Delicious with a pasta salad and bread (We will NOT type the words "crusty, french" for dinner).

Podalicious

A few weeks ago I was handed a Senseo coffee maker (minus the silver platter and plus shipping). I like it. It's basically a pimped out version of my Black & Decker one-cup brewer, but it makes good coffee. And I totally dig the sleek, gentle arc of the lovely Senseo on my countertop.

The one problem is the pods. The price is prohibitive. And the fact that I have to choke down the equivalent of Folgers every morning is too much for this Seattleite to take.

I Need Coffee offers a nice, illustrated tutorial on making your own pods. I whip a few up every weekend and they are ready Monday–Friday.

It beats measuring out the joe and water and setting the timer on my old clunker every night before bed.