Half Assed Kitchen

Basic risotto

This is the most amazing, buttery risotto ever. The creamy rice and chicken stock and cheese create, in your mouth, an elegant soireé. The type with sterling silver candlestick holders and Chet Baker pulsing through hidden Bose speakers. Except that the risotto is much easier than the result would make you think. The preparation is more a BYOB pizza throwdown than cook all day dinner party.

Please welcome guest poster, Joel Niemeyer. He created this delicious concoction, and then fed us some. Yum!

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Creamy, cheesy, and rich! That is what risotto is to me. Sometimes it's hard to believe that it's even a kind of rice, but it is. It's also really hard and expensive to make, right? Actually, no, not at all. The fact is that you can make as good a risotto at home as you would pay $16.00 for at a restaurant, if you can even find a restaurant that has it. There is some patience involved, and you do have to pay attention, but it's not hard at all.

A basic risotto can also be enhanced with a variety of flavors and additions--once you know the basics, you can make many different kinds. I like my risotto with a real onion and wine taste, so I go pretty heavy on those ingredients.

Rating: 3/4 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

A cup or two of Arborio Rice. You don't have to get a fancy, expensive brand. I use Lundberg brand that you can find at most grocery stores.

1 whole Shallot, finely minced

Fresh Garlic, two or three cloves, finely minced

1/2 cup or so of Parmesan Cheese –- finely grated. Use Parmigiano Reggiano if you can. By far the most expensive part of this recipe, but you don't need too much. Any good qualify parm will do, though-- just not the stuff in the green can

3/4 cup or so dry White Wine

 2 Tablespoons Butter-- cold and cubed

At least a quart of Chicken Stock-- hot. Of course, homemade is better, but you can go with a good quality low sodium canned one

And here's the method. Don't get too caught up in the details, but just pay attention--you don't want to burn the rice, let it get too dry, or cook it too much:

Heat up some nice olive oil in a nicely sized saucepan on about Medium High. Sauté up the shallots and garlic--don't brown them, though. When you can really smell the shallots and garlic, toss in the rice and stir that all up for a minute or two--the idea is to just get that oil and shallots coated on to the rice. When the rice is well coated, add the wine and stir until the wine is absorbed and the rice has a dry feeling to it again. At this point you should be getting the full on aroma of the shallots, garlic, and wine!

Start adding the stock about a 1/2 of one ladle at a time. The measurement isn't important- just whatver soup ladle or cup you have laying around. When you add the stock, start to really stir it vigorously. Start adding stock 1/2 cup at a time. Each time you add some stock, let it get absorbed by the rice. Continue this until the rice starts to get done--it will take a good twenty minutes of constant stirring and adding stock. Cheat and sneak a grain or two, just to test for doneness. You want it done, but not soft. As you are doing all this stirring, you'll notice a "creaminess" start to take place. This means you are doing a good job! Keep adding enough stock until it's a consistency and doneness you like

When you are at the point that the rice is done, take if off the heat and stir in the cold butter first, then the cheese. You shold get enough saltiness from the butter and cheese, but add salt to your taste. The consistency should be creamy, but not liquid, although make it the way you think it will be good! My kids love frozen peas thrown in right near the end.

Traditional thinking says that you can't really eat it any time after you've first made it, but I disagree. I refrigerate it and "reconstitute" it with chicken stock. While the rice may become a little more cooked than many would like, I find this is the time to really make something different with it by adding in: chicken, vegetables. Or make Risotto Cakes!

Have fun with this, and I hope you end up loving this dish as much as I do. 

 

Pineapple upside down cake

We know we should be posting apple crisps and pumpkin tarts right about now, but frankly, our heads are still a little stuck in Hawaii, where we spent a good chunk of August (we know, you can hate us.)

While there, we attended a luau and had succulent kalua pig, haupia, and pineapple upside down cake. For weeks after we came home, our son begged us to recreate the upside down cake.

Upon locating a recipe that sounded good, we set about baking and adapting.

And then...and then...we lost the recipe and can't remember how we did it.

We're sorry.

To make amends, we're linking to a few pineapple upside down cakes that sound decadently delicious.

Here's Paula Deen's take on PUC. As you might expect, lots of eggs and buttermilk.

We like the looks of this Duncan Hines version because, hello!, cake mix.

Nigella Lawson discusses how uncouth, but delicious, pineapple upside down cake is in this video.

Amazon even sells a pineapple upside down cake pan.

So go forth and try this old-fashioned, un-chic cake. And let us know how it turns out.

Tropical fruit smoothie

Please forgive us the very un-autumnal recipe. We know we should be posting up apple crisps and pumpkin doughnuts (mmm). But we've just gotten home from Hawaii. And the bad thing about Hawaii, is that you must eventually leave it.

So we're back in Seattle whipping up things like pineapple upside down cakes, coconut haupia, and fruit smoothies, wishing we were still sitting under palm trees and body boarding in the Pacific.

If you're craving a little bit of the tropics, get thee to a blender and throw together one of these smoothies. It'll transport you right to a white sand beach where the warm breeze carries the distant strum of a ukulele.

Effort required: 1/4 assed (as all Island food should be)

Here's what you need and how you do it

1 cup frozen pineapple (you can usually find this in the freezer section of your grocery store)

1/2 cup frozen mango or papaya (same with the grocery store freezer section)

1 banana

1 cup vanilla yogurt (soy works well if you can't have milk)

1 cup orange juice (adjust amount depending on how thick you like your smoothies)

Handful of ice

You can also throw in a handful of strawberries if you have them. We think it tastes more tropical without the berries.

Blend all ingredients. Pour into a tall glass and enjoy!

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Kale chips

We know every blogger and his brother has written about kale chips. They're easy, tasty, and very good for you. But none of the posts we've read have warned of the grave kale-over-baking danger. Which is really quite serious. It leads to nasty, bitter chips of horror that may as well be sheets of ash lying on your tongue for how tasty they are.

We're telling you...make these. Do. But don't cook them for more than 10 minutes before you check. And check often afterward--every two or three minutes. You want to catch them just after they've turned crisp, but before they've burned. And it can happen quickly.

Rating: 1/4 assed

Here's what you need and how you do it

1 bunch kale (any variety will do), stems removed and leaves torn into bite-sized pieces

3 Tablespoons Olive Oil

Sea salt to taste

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Wash kale and dry thoroughly. A salad spinner works great for this. Do not skimp on the spins. If drying with towels, try hard to soak up all the water.

In a large bowl, toss kale with olive oil and salt. Spread in a single layer across two cookie sheets.

Bake for 10 minutes. Check to see if leaves are crisp. If so, remove immediately. If not, continue to bake, checking every 2 to 3 minutes.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Taco Bowls

Taco bowls are a most ingenious and super simple dinner idea we ran across in Parenting magazine several years ago (and modified a little). Kids will generally eat these plainish and adults can gussy them up with avocado, lettuce, tomato, chilis, etc.

Rating: 1/4 assed. Absurdly easy.

Here's what you need and how you do it

12 6-inch flour tortillas

1 pound ground turkey or ground beef

Olive oil (for sautéing meat)

1 package taco seasoning mix (We like Simply Organics Southwest Taco)

16-ounce package shredded cheese

Avocados (optional)

Lettuce, shredded (optional)

Tomatoes, diced (optional)

Sour cream (optional)

Black olives, sliced (optional)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Trim about 1/2-inch around the edge of each tortilla. Push the tortillas into a non-stick muffin tin (we use the super large tins and do not trim the tortillas, but you can use regular tins to make more manageably-sized bowls).

Meanwhile, sauté ground meat in olive oil, breaking apart large chunks and stirring occasionally until meat is cooked through. Add taco seasoning mix and a 1/2 cup water, simmer for a few minutes more.

Fill each tortilla cup with meat and cheese and bake 10 to 12 minutes, or until cheese is melted and cups start to brown.

Serve with black beans with lime and cilantro.

For a printable version of this recipe, click here.

Rice balls are easier than you think

A couple days a week we've been hanging out with our son in his school cafeteria. There are two boys at his table who bring the coolest lunches. We've seen them both with rice balls, which is basically sticky rice with some sort of filling, wrapped in Nori.

We love Asian food around here, so we gave our own version a go.

Here's what you need and how you do it:

1 cup white rice (NOT the Minute variety)

3 Tablespoons rice vinegar (Consider investing in this if you haven't already. It's great for salad dressings too. Found in the Asian foods section of your grocery store)

1-2 Tablespoons sugar

Pinch of salt

Filling for the rice balls (Salmon, chicken, pork, tofu)

Nori (otherwise known as seaweed, also found in the Asian foods section) (optional)

Seasame seeds (optional)

Cook the rice according to package directions. Unless you're using a rice cooker, the rule of thumb is 1 part of rice per 2 parts of water.

While rice is cooking, mix the rice vinegar, sugar and salt. Whisk with a fork until sugar and salt are dissolved.

When rice is done, stir in the vinegar/sugar/salt concoction. Mix in bits of meat and sesame seeds (if so desired).

Cut Nori into strips (We find it easier to work with if we dampen it a tiny bit first)

Scoop rice into balls with an ice cream scoop (will have to rinse it after every third ball or so because it gets sticky). Wrap a Nori strip around each rice ball.

Note: These are easier for kids to hold and eat if they are cool.

Homemade Playdoh

I’ve been told umpteen times that I possess the BEST homemade Playdoh recipe this side of the Cascades.

Whipping up a batch of the squishy stuff is a great way to pass twenty minutes an afternoon.

Here’s what you need:

1 cup of white flour
¼ cup of salt
1 cup of water
3 teaspoons of Cream of Tartar
1 Tablespoon of vegetable oil

Cook above ingredients on a medium flame until it forms a soft ball.

Mix in color (if desired).

Turn out on a dry surface to cool.

Slap it on the center of the kitchen table, let your kids descend on it like crows around a squirrel's carcass and go take a nap.